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happiness

Remember That and be Happy Always (FGK-26)

This letter from Grandma made me so emotional, especially the part where she described how she had made it all the way into the hospital only to be too late for visiting times. Instead of complaining or whining about injustice, she reminds mom that she is their guest and show appreciation for being there. Considering it seems we are just starting to acknowledge the mind/body connection, it seems Grandma was decades ahead here on the ranch by reminding mom that a glad heart purifies the body. I really needed to hear that. I always had a special love for Grandma, but these letters make me love her even more, she really was a remarkable woman.

March 14, 1953

Saturday afternoon 4:15 PM

Dearest Margie:

Just have to write you and let the work go hang. Sheila and Marshall are out helping Dad de-horn and I scrubbed and waxed the kitchen floor alone. We washed clothes this morning. Trudy Usher gave Sheila a lovely bouquet of spring flowers for her birthday and Sheila wanted to leave them in with you last night but I said let’s bring them home for the weekend to enjoy them too and then take them into you on Sunday. they look so nice on the kitchen table, the whole kitchen looks so nice and shining clean now.

I haven’t done any cooking today, made Sheila a birthday cake yesterday and we ate it at supper last night.

Wish I could have seen you last night, did Helen tell you I was so near, just at the office, but rules are rules, we don’t own the place, you are their guest and we must remember and show our appreciation to them for having you there.

Sheila and Marsh went to the dance last night, Dad and I were too tired. They said it was a very nice one. Slim was there with _______ – isn’t he a rascal?

Old Smokey is really feeling cute these days, guess I’m feeding him too well, he just seems to know everything you say to him.

Sheila just came in looking frozen. She said the men weren’t going to stop for tea so I packed up a snack and some hot coffee and sent her over wth it to them.

I phoned Aunt Ruth but she was up town – her and Aileen as usual, but Gordie answered. He is all excited he is going to the boy-scouts chuckwagon race or something.

Hope you see a nice show this afternoon. We saw Clarence Buckley at the garage yesterday, the Olds school were chosen to see the judging of the fat calf show or something.

Guess the bull sale is next week, Dad says he isn’t going to buy any bulls – but we’ll see.

Marsh says Mrs. Barkley has a really good dishwasher, isn’t that nice?

Have you done any letter writing? I wish you’d write to us. Sure wish those old chicken-pox would clear up.

Sheila says all the Normans were at the dance, and Gladys strained her stomach curling but she was there anyway. Springbank is sure curling crazy.

8:30 pm

Well here I am again Marg – Bill went to town so there was only us four for supper and we are all sitting quietly around the dining room now. Sheila is hard at work on her homework, wish Marsh would do that.

Hope you are getting along good with your school work. I just phoned in and they said you are well. This phone is almost impossible though.

We had a very lovely Star meeting on Thursday night. There were people from all over the province there.

I’m sending you in a corsage of imitation heather we wore, Dorothea Andison (?) made one for each of us, they’re made out of wire and needs. Betsy Bloom the Worthy Grand Matron is Scotch so we were wearing them to please her – we hope. You can give it to Mary McKinon if you like – she’s Scotch too.

The gophers are out now – around here anyway, wonder if they get Rabies too.

Dad was riding up in the hills last week and he saw the skeleton of a moose and also som huge wolf tracks.

They are going to de-horn our calves on Monday and the Lazy J cattle too – so suppose Winnie will be bringing up a fancy tea for them eh?

How are those old legs of yours coming along lately Margie? Hope you are finding the exercises easier and that you can move them a little more every day and the back too. Do you still go down for the tank etc at around 2pm? I am praying almost constantly to help you but more so around then if it’s possible at all. we must have patience though, it takes almost 18 months to heal those nerves they say, but I am sure you will be walking before that, even though they may not be entirely healed. It is certain that a glad heart speeds up circulation and sweeps impure matter from the bloodstream and health appears. Remember that and be happy always.

I couldn’t get that record of the Lord’s Prayer for Sheila at all so I got her the medium sized suit case to match her others and a nice card and Marsh signed it from you and him. Dad and I gave her a suede jacket so with the twin sweater set she got plenty eh?

Aunt Gertie phoned and wants us to go up for dinner tomorrow, so seeing we can’t get in to see you, I guess we’ll go.

Well, I must close now and sure hope I can see you on Wednesday.

Lots and lots of love dear

From mom xxxxxxxxx

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happiness

Driver’s License, Concussions, and Fire (FGK-22)

I’ve always loved hearing my uncle tell stories – he has a way of telling them that makes me picture the events in my head quite clearly like I was a fly on the wall.

A couple of weeks ago we had a fire just west of us, and the ranch brought out their fire brigade to help bring the flames back under control. The ability of the people who live out here to fight fires has always impressed and humbled me. I remember Grandma telling of the time when a huge fire came from Jumping Pound Mountain area (is this right?) and was headed their way. She was pregnant with my uncle and my aunt would have been a toddler. She escaped with the car while others stayed behind to fight the fire. I think that one did end up going all the way to Bowness.

There are only a couple of letters that were written on a typewriter, and this is one of them. Given my dependence on autocorrect, I was quite impressed by how few words got scratched out. (Seriously, I just retyped that sentence three times – if I was on a typewriter there’d be no paper left)

Mount Royal College

Calgary, Alberta

April 9, 1953

Dear Margie:

Well I guess that it is about time I wrote you a letter isn’t it? I had one all wrote out last week but I forgot to post it. What do you think of my typing? I am bringing this letter up with THUNDERHEAD and GREEN GRASS OF WYOMING. I am sorry that I did not get them up to you last week.

I am sure scared about the Easter exams coming up next week. My math is something terrific. Sure has been bad weather lately hasn’t it? This will be bad for the little calves that come at night won’t it? I sure miss being out there every night to ride through the cows and claves.

What did the Easter Bunny bring you? I didn’t get a dog goned thing. I guess I must be on the outs with him.

Reese and Betty have quit and George and Mary are going over there in their place.

We have a better chance of getting a ball team this year because Ken and I have been lining out some players that we think would play. There still isn’t much chance of getting a team up though. I think they are going to play inter-house baseball here this year instead of touch rugby. The other years the boys played rugby while the girls played softball but I think they are going to play baseball for boys this year. I sure hope so because baseball’s as good a game as was ever played.

Today Fred Kelly and I were fooling around in his room, I was pretending I was dead and he picked me up in the fireman’s hold and tried to pack me out o f the room when he fell over to one side knocking my head against a light switch which broke both my head and the light switch, but it was my lucky day that it hit my head because I might have gotten hurt if it hurt me any other place. Well, my head’s kind of got a sore lump on it now but I guess I’ll live.

Last Friday, while we were deworming, mom came out to the yards to tell us that there was a fire over near the tweed hayfield. We haven’t used any of the hay over there and Dad was kind of worried about the hay, so we rushed over to Brushy Ridge to find the fire. When we got there the Brushy Ridge guys had it out. The fire started behind Curly Rown’s garage and luckily there was an east wind which blew it against the road and put itself out. Just as the fire went out the wind changed to the west. Dad said that if the wind had changed when the fire was going it would have gone clear down to Bowness.

Buckles is in his glory now because I kicked him and the other colts out to 21 to finish up the sheaves left in the crop field. I guess he figures he’s out in the wilds again. He sure is going to be a big hunk of horse flesh in a few years.

I got my driver’s license yesterday with mom and when we went to go downtown she asked me if I wanted to drive but I said no because I didn’t feel like it. Ever since I was ten I have dreamed of the day when I would get a driver’s license and when I finally get it I don’t want to drive. I think that mum pretty near fell over with surprise.

Well, that’s all I have to tell you now.

Dearest Love

Marshall

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Haying and Strawberries (FGK-21)

Thanks to some of you, I now know who the Barkleys are. I sure wish I’d known Mrs. Barkley, her letters sound so thoughtful and loving. And I know that I keep commenting on the handwriting, but hers is really quite fantastic. I can’t explain why exactly, but I really liked this letter, it made me feel warm and happy inside like a good cup of tea. Oh, and while I am thinking about tea – notice where she says they broke a saucer. Honestly, it never occurred to me when they’d bring food to the men in the field that they’d have tea cups with saucers. I don’t know what I’d imagined, but I just never thought of cups with saucers. So much work, but it does make tea taste better!

Although this letter is about daily life in Jumping Pound, the letter itself was mailed from Phoenix Arizona – it cost 6 cents to mail a letter from Arizona to Alberta in 1954 apparently.

So, where was Auntie Sheila off to that was giving her butterflies? Interesting to see that there was yet another polio outbreak in the area at this time – mom had been in the hospital just a few days short of 3 years by now. Kind of puts things in perspective for me with our current situation.

Sunday August 30 (1954)

Dear Margie

We haven’t heard any report of you lately and surly hope you are moving around now.

Sorry, I have been so slow in writing lately. Hope everyone else hasn’t neglected you so.

We are still at this hay job but hope to be finished in a few days. Our garden is producing a little now so it makes my job a little easier. Mr. Barkley’s brother from Longview came and helped us and we have had quite a good boy to drive the tractor or the bailer. Carmen and I had to get pulled thru a creek at the Kaster place one day and I got stuck in a creek in Mr. Wallace’s field yesterday. Just broke one saucer hitting the bumps in all our trips that really was not too bad the way we had to go at times. I guess they will come to the house for the few dinners left.

Have been expecting some more good strawberries but as yet they haven’t arrived. The raspberries I believe were better than ever. I just had to go to Cochrane for them. Irene and Clarence met the at the school to get theirs.

Have there been many new patients coming in? Surely too bad there are so many cases again this year. The man and wife we know are in isolation yet but are evidently showing good improvement already.

My niece and her husband were here for a few days a week ago and expect some friends from Vancouver for a few days this week so hope this haying is finished before they arrive

Guess Sheila will be having butterflies today. Sure hope she likes her choice. We’ll all miss seeing her at the weekends. She really looked well and nice when we saw her a couple of weeks ago.

Hope to get some barely swathed this week. Plenty of green grain around yet. My men are talking bailing some hailed crop at the Kaster place.

Be a good girl Margie and hope I hear another “forward” report on you soon.

Best Wishes,

The Barkleys

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Stampede Parade and Alberta Roses (FGK-15)

Today’s letter is from the Barkleys. There are several of their letters in this box, all are written so kindly and are quite delightful to read, but I’m a bit embarrassed to admit I don’t know who they are. I know someone reading this knows, so please tell me!

Anyway, we are once again in the midst of Stampede week 1953, always a fun and busy time in the area. I’ve mentioned this before, but the quality of handwriting in these letters is quite phenomenal.

July 10, 1953

Dear Margie

Have you been comfortable this past week? Hope it hasn’t been too hot for you. The country certainly looks lovely even tho’ the crops aren’t as high as usual.

Suppose you have listened to the radio and know all the stampede doings. We just listen to the Chuckwagon races. Look as tho’ no one from here is going to attend and not too upset over it either. We had a man from Montreal here last night and he said he had travelled around quite a bit and had never seen so much for his money before and thought it was quite genuine.

There are some beautiful roses along this west side road now. I took lunch back to the ?? Place today to my men. Edna gathered me some blossoms the other day so I have quite a rose bowl. They certainly look better this way.

Bernard was leading his father around today, one tractor ahead of another. They didn’t get stuck so feel quite pleased with themselves.

Haven’t seen anyone from your house for some time now. Suppose they are busy.

Best Wishes,

The Barkleys

July 16

Morning

Clarence was in Monday evening on his way home from the city and said he had seen you at the Parade. Sure glad to hear you had seen it. I guess you would be plenty excited. Nice to hear you are looking so well. He tells me your latest report is walking. Keep the good work up. Surely they will let you come home then and go in for treatments.

I remember mom telling me how the hospital took some of the kids to the stampede while she was there. In fact, this story was shared with me when I was a little kid and was begging for money from my mom to play games on the midway. She told me how the only time in her life that she’d ever won a game (and then she won all the games) was when she was there as a patient. Mom believed the games were un-winnable and that the sick kids had won because the people running the games felt so badly for them. Oddly enough, instead of this making me feel upset about not being allowed to play games, or about how the games were fixed (I think we all kind of knew they were), I was so happy that the sick kids had been given the chance to win and be excited about their prizes.

Don and Roy were exhausted with the heat when they stopped. They got up on a chair and just sat.

Buckley and Barkley juniors had a day fishing Sunday. they done well too. Had quite a day I guess.

Better get busy here, Margie and I’m really glad to hear such good news of you.

Best wishes again

The Barkleys

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Two of my favourite people 

Tonight we celebrated the 40th wedding anniversary of two of my favourite people / my aunt and uncle who have always been like extra parents to me. 

How lucky am I to be part of this tribe, in this time, in this place? I’m so grateful for the love and the laughter, the faith and the fun. It’s pretty spectacular. It’s happiness 

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Pretty feet 

My boy got his hooves trimmed today. Despite the fact that he’s been a turd for a while he’s been awesome the last couple of days. He stood nicely for the farrier while he gave him a pedicure. 

The flies were terrible so the guy who is apprenticing with him ended up being Drishti’s personal fly swatter. He was constantly brushing flies away squishing the Mosquitos that were biting him 

I laughed at my high maintenance horse. He means so much to me, he helps me heal, brings me joy, and constantly entertains me. What happiness. 

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In this exact moment 

It was a beautiful morning and I grabbed a quiet moment to take Drishti for a ride. I am happy to report he was much easier to catch than he was the other day. As I was walking him back to the barn, I had to stop at the top of the hill and look west at Moose Mountain which was absolutely brilliant, then I looked back at Drishti behind me and I thought this is why it’s so important to live in the moment. I have prayed for years for this exact moment to arrive. I am standing in the place I love most in the world with the horse that is absolutely perfect for me. If I was worrying or focusing on anything else but right now, I would miss this exact moment.

The mounted version of that moment came a bit later and looks like this:

It’s breathtaking, it’s humbling, it makes me know that God is here and with me, it’s peaceful, it’s loving, it’s a happiness moment. Both times I stood (sat) in gratitude and thanked Him for all my blessings. I remembered I am living the life I have prayed for.

When I was finished riding, my cousin grabbed me and asked if I would like to help her pair out cows and calves. I was all over that. I haven’t “helped” (and I use that term loosely) move cows in two years, and I had no idea how Drishti would handle it, but yes please I am so willing to do that.

 

He’s a pretty level headed guy, my horse, and he was just fine out there. We saw Derek the orphan calf from last year who didn’t seem to care that I existed at all, and lots of really cute newborns with their mamas.

The fact that this is something I can walk out my back door and do is such a huge gift from God. It is so good for my soul, it puts me back in touch with nature, I love spending time with my cousin and she’s a wealth of information so I learned a lot while I was at it.

I am grateful for every second of this life.

I am home

I am safe

I am happy

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Out the kitchen window 

This photo may not immediately look like a happiness moment, but it is – and I will explain why.

I was in the kitchen making supper and I looked out the window to see my daughter at the barn with my cousin and her daughter. There was a newly orphaned calf in the corral and my niece was feeding it (I think – it was hard to tell exactly what she was doing from where I stood).

The feeling that came over me was one of incredible peace and happiness. My girl is as drawn to the barn as I was at her age and it’s so awesome that my cousin is so patient and shows her what is going on during their very busy calving season.

As I watched them from the window (before I ran out to join) I felt so grounded and happy. This is the kind of moment I dreamed about, this freedom, this connection, this easy joy.

I am so grateful for happy moments like these. 

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Derek and laughter

Derek the orphan calf moved out to the field a few weeks ago. While I have not missed the little presents he left in my yard (however they provided endless that’s bullshit jokes), I miss seeing his little face peering in my window looking for me to come give him cuddles.

I decided this afternoon it was time to go give dear Derek a visit so we headed out to the field. It apparently was nap time as he, Blindey, and the two cows they’ve been put with were all lying down. The other three got up and stared at me with caution (but didn’t move away) and Derek just perked his eyes up and stayed where he was. I went and sat beside him and we cuddled and cuddled for a good long time.

It’s important to note here that I am not a cow person. A horse, dog, cat, etc etc person yes – I’ve never really wanted to bond to a bovine. But Derek… oh Derek…. he captured my heart.

It was so sweet how he leaned right into my arms and really wanted those hugs so badly. Amazing how all us animals just want to be loved. Happiness moment right there.

As a bonus, when we got home Jacob played for me a couple of videos that had him laughing all day. We may have discovered the cure for depression – snorting, hiccuping, laughter.

No idea what he’s saying but omg is it funny

a man yodelling with chickens – what more do you need?

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Flashlights in the yard 

This evening I grabbed my flashlight to head over to my mom’s. As I got into the yard (field I guess it is), I saw another flashlight bobbing through the darkness. We yelled and flashed our lights obnoxiously  at each other while we laughed. It was my nephew heading home after feeding Derek the calf. 

Oh Derek. He’s so cute


We stood in the driveway and somehow got on the topic of the hardships involved in being the oldest sibling (the oldest vs youngest has been a longstanding joke between me, my kids, and my nephew and niece). We both agreed that as the oldest ones we had issues that could never be properly appreciated by the youngests. Then we laughed knowing that all of us really have pretty charmed and blessed lives. It was a great happiness moment. I’m so thankful there is family so close by so those kind of impromptu visits can happen. 

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