Author Archives: Melissa

happiness

Deep Rest

After complaining of being tired all week, I slept for 11 hours last night. I can’t even begin to explain how much better that long sleep made me feel.  It’s pure happiness. 

I have known that I have not been getting optimal sleep for some time – and for many different reasons. Some of it was poor lifestyle choices (somehow this summer staying up too late has seemed like a good idea on too many occasions), a lot of it is the fallout of emotional stresses. I’m working on earlier bedtimes again, and the emotional stress is now mostly healing old wounds instead of new ones being made – so there’s hope on both those fronts. 
This week I got my order from MAPI, a company who sells awesome Ayurvedic herbs and products. One of the formulas I ordered this time was called Deep Rest, a product I used a couple of years back with great results. I think it’s a big part of why I’m starting to get better rests again now. It always amazes me how powerful those herbs are and makes me so grateful that I have learned so much about how to incorporate them into a more balanced lifestyle. 

We spent the day at Calaway Park today – our first and last visit of the year. It was so fun watching all the kids run around laughing and enjoying themselves. I really enjoy those kinds of moments. Having a car full of happy and exhausted kids at the end of the day is another great happiness moment. Being able to share in that enjoyment with him was the icing on the cake (or in our case, the sugar on the mini donut). 

Standard
happiness

Wave bobbing 

For the first time since Jr. High I went to Southland Leisure Centre and we bobbed in the waves. It’s a pretty weird thing to do – gather a bunch of strangers in a small body of water and have us all bob up and down in man made waves. It’s also totally fun, which makes it even weirder. I’m not sure if I had more fun myself or watching our huge crew of kids laugh and enjoy themselves. It was a good, good, happiness day. One that has left me smiling and exhausted. Like a fantastic day should. 

I’m pretty sure we will all sleep soundly tonight. 

Standard
happiness

Forgiveness

The kids and I have had some pretty deep talks over the past couple of days about forgiveness and letting go of bad memories. I feel so guilty that I wasn’t able to protect them better, it’s something that sits heavy in my heart. They, on the other hand, don’t seem to feel the same way at all. The unconditional love and complete forgiveness that flows from them is overwhelming and humbling. It makes me want to walk with that kind of powerful love into all of my close relationships. It makes me able to begin forgive myself. 

My big happiness moment today was the boy telling me, out of the blue on the way home, that where we live now is the first place where he has ever felt totally safe. It gives me a lot of peace to know that finally I have been able to provide that for them. 

My gratitude happiness moment was walking my road with my mom tonight. I am so thankful that God brought us back to our tribe. 

Standard
happiness

Tadasana

After a break that was much too long I spent an hour and a half easing my body into Tadasana this morning. I love the gentle yoga I learned at Kripalu and have a cd by Rudy Peirce that I purchased on a visit there years ago. Basically it’s 90 minutes spent getting into mountain pose. It sounds ridiculously easy, but there’s something about those slow and gentle stretches that is so powerful for my soul. 

I find that this yoga that is based on compassion is so much more a spiritual practice than it is a physical one. It’s such an effective way for me to realign myself and connect to my Source. I didn’t realize how disconnected I truly was until I sat in that quiet space. It was awesome and spiritual and happy. I love it. 

Standard
happiness

Let go, let go… and Derek 

My thing continues to be learning how to let go. The massage I had on Monday moved around some pretty powerful stuff. He even asked part way through if I was having a big emotional reaction to what was happening. I replied oh kind of, there’s a storm forming in my stomach filled with stuff I’d rather not deal with. So that’s great. And that stuff has slowly been letting go ever since. The process itself is kind of yucky, but the knowledge that some of that really painful stuff is leaving my body is awesome. 

It’s all stuff I’ve known about, but things I didn’t quite know how to let go of. It comes with learning how to forgive myself. Even though it wasn’t my action that needed being forgiven, I struggled with the fact that I had allowed it and that was painful enough. I think I’m now in a place where I can let it go, and I have this awesome energetic spiritual support team who can help me with it. 

All of that stuff brewing around in me today kind of felt more like a sadness moment as I had to acknowledge some things I wanted to forget, but really it’s a happiness moment as I put memories in the past. 

My laughing happiness moment came this morning as my niece showed up in my yard to wash Derek’s butt.


 I was weeding my garden and suddenly my job seemed pretty darn awesome in comparison. Derek is so cuddly and after being bathed came into my garden to help me with my weeding 


He’s so cute and loves being around us so much. I have mad respect for all the struggles this little orphan has been through and yet is so determined to survive. He’s a little stinky, cuddly bundle of happiness. 

Standard
happiness

Family trip 

My mom has as her screensaver photos from our big family trip to Italy in 2009. A  group of extended family got together to go celebrate the wedding of my cousin. It was so much fun. I had never been before and I think I probably slept about 6 hours in the 10 days we were there – we were so busy eating and seeing everything we possibly could. 
I love looking at those old photos. We were all so happy (and thinner and younger) – Dad looked so good in all the photos. It’s nice to go back to a time when there was a lot of joy in the family. 

I remember lying on my back floating in the Mediterranean laughing with my cousin. We laughed so hard our stomachs hurt – it was so carefree and easy. I loved that moment. 

Trevi fountain 
I have realized recently that we have finally reached a place where our little trio has started to feel secure enough to want to reach out and explore again. As we have discovered that  we are finally feeling home and safe and secure, we are starting to talk about spreading our wings.  I’m so grateful the kids now have put down roots deep enough that they can grow. I’m grateful I’m getting my balance in a way I probably didn’t have before. 

There was a lot of happiness on that family trip. It reminds me how thankful I am for this tribe of people I was fortunate enough to be born into. 

Standard
happiness

Energy stuff 

I had a massage today. That makes it an awesome day by any standards, but we ended up doing a lot of energy work which was such an amazing bonus. I didn’t realize how much I had missed talking in that energy healing kind of language until I was doing it. It’s so cool to have a conversation with someone who also gets how healing happens on that level. It inspires me and reminds me how important this path is for me to keep moving on. Happiness. Pure happiness. 

Not surprisingly a lot of emotional crap got moved around today. There has been some stuff kind of hovering at the edge of my consciousness for a while now and it fell full force into my lap where I had no choice but to deal with it. There’s a reason why that yucky emotional stuff gets stuffed so far down – because I don’t want to deal with it. But part of leaving all those bruises to my soul behind means bringing them out and letting them heal. 

Standard
happiness

Church and ice cream 

We went to church this morning. I realized as I was sitting there that it was the first time in years I had gone to church with another adult (besides special holidays when we go as an extended family). It was so nice to have someone to sit with during service. Little things like that can bring great happiness. In general I find that it is the little things that add up to big happiness. Time spent sharing stories and laughter, kind words and big hugs – all the things that go into making one feel warm and safe and loved.  They being happiness. 

Tonight Jenna and I had dad’s dessert. Being the northern Ontario guy that he was, maple syrup was important. So it was vanilla ice cream, maple syrup, and peanuts. We added strawberries just because they were there. Yum. It was another happiness moment sitting with her and sharing fun memories of ice cream desserts from the past. 

Standard
happiness

Fire food

I found myself in kind of a funky mood this afternoon. I’m not totally sure why, but I was. We had planned on going to the creek for part of the afternoon and to have supper (it was maybe the best meal of the summer – I love food cooked over the fire). I am so grateful that’s what we did because it totally changed my outlook. I went from being out of sorts to laughing and really enjoying myself. Of course the fact that he brought me chocolate significantly helped with the mood shift. It was less the food and more the thoughtfulness behind it that was the reason for the attitude adjustment. 

There is a certain peace I find at the creek that I don’t find many other places. It seems to only take me a few minutes and I am completely relaxed. I’m so grateful to have a place like that and to have my tribe. Happiness. Pure happiness. 

Standard
happiness

In the city

I tend to get so focused on the beauty of where I live that I forget how much the city has to offer. Tonight we went out for a lovely walk in Fish Creek Park. South Calgary is like foreign territory to me and it’s kind of fun to discover how much is there. Plus I had great company which makes any experience enjoyable. It’s amazing how heartwarming a little thoughtfulness and TLC can be. Happiness. 

Standard