Tag Archives: alberta

happiness

The best sandwich ever

It is seeming to become an almost weekly event, the boy and I going to the Italian Centre on Friday evening for a grocery shop and a snack. The food is so good, and it’s fun to spend some quiet quality time with my boy.

He’s fallen in love with some sandwiches they make there, and whenever we go he tries to load up the cart with as many as he possibly can. Tonight when we were there however, they said (at 4:10) that they stopped making them at 4:00 and they wouldn’t make him one. Weird, because they have made him sandwiches much later in the evening – but whatever.

He stood there sad and stunned for a few minutes and then I said why didn’t he take a photo of the listed ingredients and we could just buy them and he could make his own sandwiches at home. What happened next was quite interesting.

He sent me off to get baguettes and he went to the deli and did all the ordering himself. I checked in once and he brushed me off – I’ve got this mom– so I went and found the vegetable spread that he needed.

When we got home, he spread out his purchases and got to work. He carefully cut the different cheeses he’d purchased, he layered the meats, sprinkled the oil and oregano, and then stuck it in the oven to heat up a little bit. When it was done he cut it into small pieces and let Jenna and I each try a little bit.

It was SO good. He said that while the sandwiches he’d been buying used to be his favourite, they had nothing on this one that he’d just made. He declared it the best sandwich ever.

It was a moment of great happiness watching him create a food masterpiece. Especially since the idea was born out of the disappointment of not getting what he initially wanted – as so many great things are.

It was a great freaking sandwich…

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happiness

Because he’s a good person

I had the nicest compliment paid to me about my boy today. I took Jenna to see my friend T who styles our hair and she had buzzed Jacob yesterday while I was off doing other things with the girl. 

T told me that she’d tried to grab Jacob to give him a hug yesterday as he was leaving because she had so enjoyed their conversation and wanted to wish him a merry Christmas she said that she had been amazed – the first thing he did when he sat in her chair was ask her how she and her boyfriend were doing. T  was amazed at how he had remembered things about her life and seemed so genuinely interested  in how she was doing. 

We agreed that while that quality was rare in anyone these days, it was even more rare in a 15 year old boy. He has always been a sensitive soul, but I’m sure that all the crap he’s been through in the past few years had made him even more aware of the feelings of others. I was so proud and so happy that he shows his tenderness and compassion so freely to those in his circle. It’s a good soul that kid has and I love that he shines it out to the world. It was beyond a moment of happines and. I will cherish that in my heart for a long time to come. 

I also had an energy session with Asrael today and a she helped me shift around so much. The sessions are always so powerful, but I really feel right now like I’m in a significant transformational period in my life. I’m grateful because suddenly I’ve had a succession of healers line up to help me as I’m learning how to get through this phase. It’s one that I believe will bring so much healing and personal power, but it’s sure unknown territory. The gift of Asrael in my life and the healing she assists me with brings me deep gratitude and happiness. 

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happiness

Walk through it

The best way out is always through (Robert Frost).

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about when to fight and when to walk. Is the passive approach the way to peace? I used to believe the best way to actually resolve things was to choose the passive, not confrontational approach. I’m changing my stance on that. This has been one of the great lessons of 2016 for me. 

A month or so ago I was reading the Bhagavad Gita and totally understood why Arjuna was struggling to understand why he had to fight. I spent some time really thinking about that and what situations warranted a battle. Were there situations that warranted a battle? For the last few days The Coward of the County has found its way onto my Spotify playlist. I hadn’t listened to that song in years. And suddenly there it was – explaining that sometimes you had to stand and fight. Life lessons from the Bhagavad Gita and Kenny Rogers. 

Jacob has been struggling with some kids at school – mostly regular teen stuff – so I made him listen to the song. Now it’s on his playlist and he’s really diving into  the question of when it is time to fight and when it is time to walk away. 

I don’t think fighting always has to be a bloodbath. But sometimes you need to stand up for what you believe is right. You have to stand up to protect the ones that you love. You have to stand up to find your self-respect. 

Or at least I need to.

Robert Frost is absolutely correct. The best way out is always through. I’m going to make sure I walk through this, that I heal through this, that I stand up for myself through this. But also that I get through this. I refuse to get stuck in it. It’s not who I am, it’s something I’m going through. It’s changing me, but not defining me. 

I am going to come out of it so much stronger, kinder, braver, and with such a greater understanding of who I am and what I want. 

Today was a beautiful morning. It was cold as you know what out, but Jenna got up before 7 and headed to the barn with her cousin to feed Derek. I love the compassion and responsibility this is teaching her. I had to stop twice on the way home to look at the amazing sunrise. I feel so blessed that this is where we are. I feel Gods love so strongly for us, and the love and support of our tribe is unbelievable. We are fortunate souls. The sunrise, the strength, the faith, the hope for better things coming our way – my happiness moment.  

The view on the way home

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The Boys

I shared some time today with two of my favourite boys.

After dropping the monsters off at school, I walked into the field and had some cuddle time with Derek. I have no idea why I feel this bond with this guy – being that I’m more than a little afraid of the bovine species – but man I love him. I think it’s because he was born into such tough circumstances, and not only survived but flourished despite the odds being against him that makes me admire him so much. Anyway, he’s awesome..

 

I had supper and did some errands with my human boy this evening. As I dropped him off at his grandma’s for the night he turned and ran back to the car and yelled “I love you mom”,  and then went inside. The bond I have with that kid is crazy strong, and it was born out of some pretty tough circumstances. I will never, ever take for granted the relationship I have with my kids. I feel so fortunate that they want to bring me so closely into their hearts.

My boys – happiness moments. Bliss. Love.

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happiness

It’s happening

About a month ago I had a divinely inspired idea come to me. I mean that in the most literal sense possible. I was wasting time on Facebook when I saw a post by a friend that made me stop everything and just breathe into the idea that was being presented to my heart.

As with most of my great ideas, I had it but had no idea of how to make it a reality. It seemed kind of big and overwhelming.

That Sunday I went to church and the sermon answered my question. He asked us what would do if there was nothing holding you back? Well, the answer is many things, but this idea was one of them. He talked about how we can get so caught up in the how of things that we often miss out on great opportunities. That is my problem! I get totally freaked out by how I’m going to do things, and I so often overthink things to the point that the idea just vanishes.

I decided with this one that I was not going to worry about the how. I was going to take the idea and run with it. It has the potential to bring a lot of joy and happiness to children in our town and I was damned if my how questioning was going to ruin that.

I talked with a lady at our church, she thought it was a fabulous idea, she passed it on to the powers that be, and today I was told that it’s approved. I can do it! My how was answered! It’s going to come to life, it’s going to celebrate and bring joy to children who really need it.

I am beyond excited, and to say it’s a happiness moment is a complete understatement.

I’ll explain it all as things get moving a bit farther along, which will be soon. The plan is for my first event to happen in January.

Faith, it’s always about faith.

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The stubborn gene

If you know me or my people in real life, then you know that the stubborn gene runs deep in our genes. Sometimes it is a good thing – it has created a group of incredibly strong people – sometimes it is not so good – because…. stubborn – sometimes it is just funny.

Tonight Jenna came home and found the back door locked. She went to the window near where Jacob was sitting and started knocking on it and yelling at him to go open the door. He yelled back that she should go to the front door, which was open, and the same distance for her to walk. She refused, wanting to go in the back door. She continued banging and yelling, he continued yelling and refusing. I sat on the couch laughing my butt off at how incredibly stubborn they both were being. It went on for a good 10 minutes before there was a break.

In an interesting turn of events, Jenna gave up and came in through the front door. Usually in a battle of wills Jacob gives up first, preferring the more passive route. It was hilariously funny and I enjoyed it thoroughly.

I had a spontaneous lunch today with a cousin in town. I love that we are back in a place where I run into my tribe on a regular basis. It was lovely to catch up with her and share some laughs. Our bond runs deep, and my lunch time with her was a moment of great happiness.

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Basketball 

After a year of hoping and practicing, the boy had tryouts for basketball today – and he made the team. He’s had a pretty rough year and he so needed something positive like this in his life. I’m incredibly happy and so proud of him. He really dedicated himself to getting more skilled for this year. Heart happy happiness moment. 

Things are getting happier and happier in my little family. It’s a long road of healing, but we are on it and it’s getting better all the time. 

Jenna and I had to stop and admire the sunset on the way home. And then she had to listen to me do the whole can you believe we live here? Look at the mountains thing that I do so well. 

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Cochrane light up

Jenna and I made it for the tail end of Cochrane Light Up this evening. The timing was actually perfect as we had a few minutes to look around at the booths, stand by the fire, smell the hotdogs (but not eat… yuck), and go to Mackay’s to see the gingerbread houses, before it was time for the fireworks. 


Last year was kind of a difficult time. There was so many emotions floating around I had a hard time getting as Christmas happy as I’d like. 

But this year…

This year we are going to whoop it up. I love Christmas and we have so much happiness to celebrate. So much to be grateful for. 

Walking Main Street Cochrane with Jenna, the start of the Christmas season – happiness moment parfait. 

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happiness

Sitting with the memories 

Today Dad would have turned 76. I still can’t believe it’s been a year and a half since he died – I keep expecting him to walk in the door like he was just away on a trip somewhere. Except Dad would have never, ever gone away for so long and left us behind if he hadn’t been called by God.

I’ve been sitting with the memories of Dad today, it’s been a bittersweet happiness moment, but I wouldn’t trade my memories for anything. I really didn’t realize until much later in life how extremely fortunate I was to have been gifted the Dad that I had. I grew up kind of assuming that every father was as involved in the lives of their children as my Dad was.

I have a lifetime of memories of Dad being such a strong influence in my life. He made sure we went outside and played hard, he often got up at the crack of dawn and caught nasty ponies for us to take to shows, he taught us not only work ethic – but how important it is to love what you do, he showed me how important it was to live with integrity, he showed me what it was like to live life with an open and loving heart.

I miss him so much. I miss him for me, but even more I miss him for my kids who really, really need to have the influence of a man like he was. And then I realize I can still show them that through stories of what he was like, they have their memories, and they understand that we live our lives with love and integrity because that is how he taught us to be.

What a legacy to leave behind – how amazing to have so many people whose lives he touched, who miss him, who love him. It makes me really think about the kind of person I want to be and how I want to be remembered. It is so important to live life being true to my values and my heart. I’m so grateful that God opens doors for me, and that He closes some doors for my own protection.

My dad……..

 

he was allergic to horses, and I’m not even sure how much he really liked them, but he sure spent a lot of time around them because of his daughters. 

there are so many memories of him reading to us in this old (maybe even corduroy?) chair. When he was done he would grab us and make many failed attempts at hauling us all up. It always resulted in giggles and in us pleading for more. And you see – there he is with Torts the cat, whom he was deathly allergic to and yet loved so much.

always the first kid down the hill

teaching his grandson to skate on the slough. I have many childhood memories of skating around this slough with Dad – it was so fun….

If you were looking for Dad, you could always find him doing whatever the kids were doing. Actually, usually he was the one dreaming up the fun.

I love this photo. Jacob and my Dad had such a special bond. 

teaching Jacob how to ski – these poor Southern children had to be taught all about snow every Christmas.

Probably the thing Dad loved the most was being at the creek. I think he would have spent the entire summer there if he could have. 

You can’t see him, but this was his greatest Dad/Grandparent trick of all. Flipping kids over on their rafts – he was known by the grandchildren as the Creek Monster. This always brought shrieks of laughter. 

Happy Birthday Dad. We all miss you so much.

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Walking with the swans 

It was another beautiful afternoon here and I took full advantage of it by taking my Dotted Dog out for a walk. 

The swans were all over the place – lots of them on the slough, but also many of them flying around. They would circle around and around me while  I was walking, and of course that made me think of Dad. 

I’m sure he’s with me more right now as we get closer to his birthday. The change of seasons also has me thinking of him as well. But the swans were always his thing. He used to take us out there when we were little to look at them, and sent me so many photos of them in later years. 

I found some of his swan photos in my email. He was such a talanted photographer and  his photos are a wonderful legacy left for us to remember him by. 

Thankfully we don’t have all this snow now, but it’s a fantastic shot he took 

One of my favorites 

This is how they were circling over my head today. 
It was a happiness moment that brought me close to my Dad today as I walked with the swans. I miss him so much – i miss him even more because my kids needed him so badly. But there’s a reason for everything and above all I have faith. 

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