Tag Archives: Bliss

happiness

Wasn’t that a party 

We celebrated my uncle’s 80th birthday today with a huge party at the Hall. This guy has always been a bonus dad for me (I call him uncle-dad) and a bonus grandpa for my kids. He’s pretty cool.

It was a wonderful afternoon spent visiting with the community – friends and family – lots of people I haven’t seen in ages. And the Hall looked amazing, just like it is supposed to look with an old-time feel.

As someone who spent years floating as part of  a lost little pod of people in various places, I can’t express properly what it means to be part of this community, to know that we have this place where we are from, where we belong. Everyone has a family of some sort, but our family is really pretty unique – both in size and in the way it functions.

It is a deep kind of happiness, one that I carry with me all the time. An extra happiness was celebrating the birthday of one of my favourite people – I have always looked up to and admired this guy – I am really lucky that he’s my uncle.

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The bow and arrow. 

Today I got the girl signed up for an archery class. She’s been wanting to do this for a long time, and I think (hope) our schedule finally works so that she can. 

It may be a small happiness moment, but it’s also a bigger picture one as well. I hope she finds the thing that drives her passion. It may or may not be archery, but I’m glad she’s trying out new things. 

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4 bar horse adrenaline rush 

We went down the the Rocky Mountain Show Jumping event at the Stampede Grounds tonight. The 4 bar event was sponsored by the Horse Store and they very kindly gave us free tickets to go watch. 

What a rush. Brave riders, fearless horses. It was SO much fun. 

By the end the last rider cleared 1.95 metres 

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The girl who came second pulled her horse out at 1.85 – she was on a young horse and they had done really well. It’s good to know when enough is enough. 

It was so much fun to watch this, better to share the happiness moment with Jacob who so very kindly came along with me. 

I miss horses so much. All of this seeking of happiness that I do- it was something I just always had when I had my horses. That says a lot. 

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The sunshine is back

The sunshine has come back into my life both literally and figuratively today. I was pretty happy to wake up and be able to see my mountains this morning, even happier to realize that I wasn’t having that funky feeling I’ve been carrying around the past couple of days.

I guess that’s the nice thing about being bummed out for no real reason, it’s easy to bounce back. I think I’m realizing how tired I got from all the stress of the summer, all the stress of the year… there just has been a lot and I haven’t always honoured how much it has exhausted me.

But, today was sun and smiles again which feels so much better. It started on the way into town – we drove past a family of swans. They always make me think of Dad which is bittersweet. My first thought was how excited he would be to see them, the second one was oh yeah… he’s not here anymore. But then I stopped anyway and shared the moment with him, with the kids, with God. It was a good moment.

from my iphone – I was pretty close to them. 


I got some really positive news from  a cousin who has been dealing with some pretty serious health issues and that was fantastic. It was a moment to celebrate and remember how important this tribe is, how we need to love and support each other all the time, unconditionally, in good times and bad.

And I did my healing light yoga today – that is always a happiness moment no matter what. I love how it puts me into balance, aligns me back with my Source, brings me to peace, and restores my strength. It’s pretty powerful stuff.

So, tonight I go to bed happy. I had several happiness moments today, but best of all I was just feeling the happy all day long. That’s what this is about – having more sunshine than cloudy days. But honouring the storms too – they are what gives the rainbows.

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Embrace your light

I was reminded this morning that I have forgotten how to breathe. Not in the OMG I’m not going to suffocate and die at this moment way, but that somehow I’ve forgotten how to breathe into my peace and bliss. Sometimes I get so caught up in life, running around trying to put out fires, that I forget that one of the best things I can do for myself is to just stop and breathe. Slowly, deeply, inhaling that healing breath. It never ceases to amaze me what an immediate difference that makes to my nervous system.

I was doing the first of the new series of Healing Light Yoga Therapy classes lead by my friend and mentor Asrael. I have done every series she has offered so far and it has been such an important part of my healing journey.

It surprised me (although it shouldn’t have) all the emotions that were brought up for me in that class. This journey I’ve been on has been about embracing happiness, but there’s many more emotions attached to it as well. Part of finding happiness for me has meant that I also have been able to acknowledge that other emotions flow through me – anger, sadness, grief, anxiety – and that they all need to be honoured. I never really knew what to do with those feelings so I would just stuff them deep down where they would fester and damage me. Now, I can allow them into my life and still know that I’m a happiness seeker because… well… those other emotions are part of life too.

Today’s special visitors were sadness and grief. Those are ones that I’ve worked very hard at pushing away. The past few years have had so much loss in them. On top of losing my dad, I’ve had to give up the dream I wanted for my family. There’s a lot of good that is coming from that, but it still carries so much pain and sorrow that my kids won’t have the family I dreamed for them and neither will I. I’ve already grieved losing that person, but the sadness from giving up that dream still sneaks up on me. This type of yoga helps all of those emotions move out of my body. It’s tiring, but so healing.

I seem to keep coming back to discovering the gifts that God has given me and figuring out what I am supposed to do with them. Understanding that I need to listen very carefully to my heart and my intuition is going to guide me along the path of this part of my life. That is being told to me very clearly in everything I do lately.

It was a beautiful, sad, blissful, grieving, peaceful happiness moment as I worked at embracing my light this morning in my yoga class. We all have this light we need to shine into the world. I feel like I’m finally finding mine.

 

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The energy shifts

I’ve been saying for the past few weeks that I felt like I was on the verge of a huge energy shift again. I don’t think I even realized that as I was saying I was on the verge that I was actually already shifting. The past couple of weeks have brought about some big changes, and I am pretty excited about the shifts that are taking place.

I had a session with my amazing Asrael today and we worked on allowing some of that energy to flow, understanding some of what it is, and letting some things go. I had a huge a-ha moment which seemed to have given me an answer to a what was the purpose of that happening question I’d been having. I get it, I get it, I get it, and now I know how to apply that knowledge so I can learn the lesson I was supposed to from it and empower myself. Because that’s what this shift is all about – stepping into my dharma. I love that – all this work over the past few years has been getting me ready for this space right now. I’m pretty excited about that.

Just knowing that and allowing the energy to flow has already brought about some huge and powerful changes. I had an intensely powerful spiritual moment during my session today. I’m not even going to begin to try and describe it, but just know that it brightened the core of my soul. My happiness moment.

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Table talk 

We celebrated the end of the long weekend with a big, crazy supper with loud kids gathered around the table. 

One of the things I really missed in our years away were the family suppers we used to have before we left. I’m realizing more and more that I need to be organizing those myself now. If we are fortunate enough to have these people around us, we need to be breaking bread with them more often. 

My happiness moment was preparing the meal with him and then being part of the big loud table as we ate our meal. It’s good to be home. 

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In the city

I tend to get so focused on the beauty of where I live that I forget how much the city has to offer. Tonight we went out for a lovely walk in Fish Creek Park. South Calgary is like foreign territory to me and it’s kind of fun to discover how much is there. Plus I had great company which makes any experience enjoyable. It’s amazing how heartwarming a little thoughtfulness and TLC can be. Happiness. 

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Back together again 

Today was a happiness day all around. Some days just feel like they start off with more happiness energy in them and this was one of them.  

Most importantly, the boy is back after a week away at his aunt’s house. He had a fabulous time and I’m happy for him, but I am glad our family is back together again. I consider the close relationship we have one of my greatest blessings. 

We celebrated with an afternoon at the creek which is always one of my happiness moments. Watching all the kids play and laugh while I visited with my friend was so relaxing. We have sorted through some heavy shit this week and it was nice to just chill for a while. Her strength and courage continues to amaze me. 


We finished the evening with a long walk – to work off the dessert we accidentally dove into. It took us well over two hours because my friend and I had to take off on the kid bikes for a race, we had to make the truckers honk their horns, and the kids had to go find the barn kittens  at my uncle’s house. Simple, silly happiness. 

What I’ve realized over this past week is I have in fact managed to create the safe, happy place that I was so desperately seeking when we moved back here. Not only that, but it’s now a strong enough space to share with others and hold them in as well. That makes me more grateful than I can describe. 

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