Author Archives: Melissa

happiness

Nightmares and daydreams 

My son had to wake me up twice last night because I was having night terrors. Not just regular old nightmares, but sleep paralysis and night terrors (it was just as lovely to experience as it sounds). The after effects of a rather traumatic experience last week. The boy knew exactly what they were and shrugged and said I got those a lot last summer after I saw my dad,  then went back to bed. So that was lovely to hear, and kept me awake for a good chunk of the night.

But, the nightmares don’t last in the daytime and today I made a special effort to be thankful for the good things in my life. The boy and I went to to the farmer’s market and we have enough cherries, berries, and peaches to get good and sick off of (I have no self control when it comes to cherries), we looked at displays, tried curries, and bought Indian food. It was a success.

In the spirit of continuing to de-clutter I worked on my poor, neglected vegetable garden. I’m hoping that in two more days it will look like a loved place once again.

Then I went out for a ride. If I ever need a reminder that God loves me and that he preforms miracles all I have to do is look at Drishti. He is a miracle in my life and he teaches me to love, to trust, and to not be afraid. He also just lets me be happy.

Plus, I am home, I am safe, and this is the view I get while I’m on my horse. There’s a lot to be thankful for, and that makes me happy.

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As you change

I met a lady today who is also a student in the course I’m taking. Being rather introverted and socially awkward, I wasn’t sure how it would go – but it went SO much better than I could have ever anticipated. Our lives look very different, but we have walked very similar paths. It was amazing how the digger we dug the more we had in common. And she’s a fellow leftie, so you know she’s amazing.

We spent some time discussing the 10 dietary paradigms of the course and it was pretty interesting how strongly some of them had affected our lives, and how some of them we were just becoming aware enough of to  realize the impact they’ve had on us.

One that we spent quite a bit of time on was the idea that nourishment is about much more than food. I struggle all the time to digest my emotions and it shows up as health issues if I don’t figure out how to do it. It’s made me live a more authentic life, and have to be more accountable, but sometimes it still surprises me how effectively I can stuff those emotions down and pretend to ignore them.

The body doesn’t lie though, eventually I pay the price and I have to stop everything and deal with it.

It was such a great happiness moment to spend the afternoon delving into a new passion with someone who is as excited as I am. I’m really looking forward to seeing how we both grow as we carry on with this course.

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Stampede 2017

The kids and I did the rides at the stampede grounds today. Well, to be honest the kids did the rides and I people watched. I have never been a huge fan of the rides. Love those little donuts, don’t need the rides   

But the kids loved it, and I love seeing them happy. We didn’t do the rides last year because it rained all of stampede week so it was really cool to see how those two years have made the kids excellent ride partners. They are so gutsy it amazes me. 

Quality family time. These moments are precious. The boy is 16 – time is flying by. I’m honoured they want to spend so much time with me.  Happiness ❤️

(The donuts were the best part in my opinion) 

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Clearing the clutter 

One of the exercises in the course I’m taking is to clear clutter out of certain areas in our lives. They had very specific exercises we were to choose from and follow. The idea being that if we clear the clutter from our external environment it will make our inner one calmer. 

And I had good intentions of doing just that today – really I did. 

But I ended up going rogue and clearing clutter from a totally different area of my life. I cleared relationship clutter. 

I’ve known it was time to walk away from this person for a while now, but I was really resisting it. I didn’t want to. Today though I cut the cord and cleared the clutter. I was amazed at how much more peace and space I felt in my spiritual core almost immediately. 

One thing I learned through my divorce is that I can walk away from anyone no matter how badly I want it to work if it’s become toxic. I’m also learning not to get into relationships with people who don’t make me happy or who aren’t healthy for me. 

On the flip side, tonight I went out to see my boy in the field and realized I am also totally capable of doing the opposite. Things got really bad with Drishti a little while ago and I had to decide – do I walk away or do I buckle down and do the hard work to make it work. That relationship was worth fighting for – and now we are more than good. I love that boy 


There’s a lot of happiness in knowing I can trust my intuition, that I can have faith I’m making good choices, and I have this amazing gift from heaven – Drishti. 

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It stays the same 

We went to a silent auction for handicapped riding tonight at the Ranchmans. 

I was given tickets from a lady I used to ride with ages ago. It was fun to see that even though a lifetime has passed, all the horse stuff is the same. I am loving getting reconnected with these people. I lost such a huge part of my soul when I quit riding. I’m getting back the pieces slowly but surely. And that is happiness 

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Opening the heart 

I had what could very well end up being my last session of transformational acupuncture today – he’s moving from the west to the east and who knows when another Calgary stop will happen. 

But each of the 3 or 4 sessions I’ve had with him have really been transformational. It’s amazing how working the energy lines like he does clears up blocks I’ve been dealing with for years. 

Today was letting go of the fear of being hurt and opening the heart. Drishti had brought a lot of these issues that have been simmering to the surface, but of course as I look around in my life I see them present everywhere. 

We had a few (three!) unsettling, scary episodes this last weekend and it helped put things into perspective for me. I waste a lot of time being scared of nothing. When the really big scary stuff happens I stand up and deal with it just fine. So why so scared of potential unknowns? Seriously. 

It was amazing to feel the energy shift as we worked through the session. I felt the chatter that I’ve struggled to quiet in my mind vanish and my body relax in ways it hasn’t in years. 

That is happiness. Deep, hard core happiness. 

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Stampede breakfast 

We had our annual stampede breakfast at the hall this morning and because I’m on he board I helped put it on. Mostly this included scrambling 30 dozen eggs – which was hot work, but we had fun while doing it. 

This is one of my favourite parties of the year – almost all of the community comes out to visit and eat. This year as an extra bonus one of my childhood friends showed up – I found out she’s dating one of the guys from out here – and we got to catch up a little on life. She’s so happy and at peace with where her life is. It’s good to be in the energy of people like that. 

The morning was filled with visits and laughter with cousins, aunts, uncles, and friends. I’ve said it before – but I really feel like I won the tribe lottery. 

This is happiness 

The group photo was taken by Holly Nicoll, the rest came off my iPhone. 

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Freezies and summer reruns

It is ridiculously hot in our house tonight. There’s only a handful of days where it’s so hot you want to lie in an ice bath and today is one of them. 

Tonight we are beating the heat by sitting in our living room with fans blasting, eating freezies, and watching old reruns on tv. 

I have had a renewed appreciation for how lucky we are to be here in our safe house filled with love. I’m grateful we are all together, happy, and safe. I’m happy because we can grab these little moments and enjoy each other’s company. Happiness 

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The heart knows 

My lesson for today has been to reconnect with my heart. I’ve been feeling very out of balance for the last week or so and today it was brought to my attention that I’ve been living in my head – where fear lives – instead of my heart – where love is. 

Funny how I had to have a couple of very scary – truly fear filled – experiences to get me out of my fear making head and into my loving heart. 

I can’t make good decisions when I’m making them based on fear. And more importantly, I can’t look after myself when I’m basing my emotions on how others behave. If I’m looking for someone else to fill my needs I’ll always be lacking. This goes from everything from the fact that we still haven’t had a June or July payment (or full April or May) from mr. X, to wanting Drishti to behave as I would like (he’s getting much better anyway). 

I have to be in balance with myself. And balance doesn’t mean control. I’d love to think I can control the outcomes of everything, but I can’t.  And when I’m in my heart I have the faith to trust that the outcome will be the right one no matter what 

I managed to have an awesome ride this morning before it got too hot. This guy makes me work through all these issues because the only way we see going to connect and work together is if I lead from my heart. And I love him, so I want it to work. Heart living. Its happiness. 

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Waterton wellness day

The girl and I drove down to Waterton for the day. This is one of my happiness places, and even if the visit is short like today it does amazing things for my soul. 

The beauty and peace of the place is really something that must be felt, but here’s a little sample of what it is like 


If I ever doubt God’s existence all I need to do is see the beauty He created in the world around us. I can feel His presence strongly in places like this. And that was good – I’ve needed to be rebalanced and regrounded. 

That is happiness. 

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