Tag Archives: happiness

happiness

Water bottle toss

Today was the epitome of Sunday Funday. Surprising since I went into the day with very little expectations of having any fun. 

I remain impressed how a change in my energy focus has completely changed my interactions with my people. I have had so much fun with my tribe this weekend. It makes me realize how important it is to focus on what is healthy and good for me. 

After a day spent getting mountain hugs in Canmore (and a fun surprise encounter with a cousin there), we had family Sunday supper. Always a favourite for me. And my favourite chef was on BBQ so you know we all left with happy bellies. 

After picking up my boy from a weekend with his aunt and family and driving home listening to his chatter about all the fun he had (a happiness moment) we stopped back at my cousin’s house so he could grab second supper 

When his meal was done the 4 kids started playing a water bottle toss game. You had to spin throw the bottle and have it land standing up on the counter. After a bit the competitive side of me came out and I had to join in. It was crazy, stupid fun – and we laughed and laughed and got overly competitive (a family problem). 

I say it all the time – but I would be lost without my tribe. How blessed am I. A deep, peaceful, happiness moment. 

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Trust the journey 

It’s been a weird week. I’ve had these gut feelings come up and make me question myself and choices I’ve made. I’m so hard on myself sometimes. Some of the things going on had me feeling so overwhelmed and like I was making bad decisions all over the place. 

So I slowed everything down and got back to praying and meditating. And weird things started happening. I had people appear suddenly offering friendship, I had questions asked to me about Ayurveda, I had questions answered about whether I’m doing the right thing. 

I had a conversation with someone this morning that I kind of expected to go badly. I was really anxious about it, and wasn’t in a very good headspace to begin with. 

Instead of what I was expecting, I was given a talk about how I needed to honour my journey. This is someone who came into my life when I was completely broken and he’s been one of my teachers as I’ve been on the path of healing. 

He told me he was there to walk the journey with me, that I needed to remember how much I had worked through, and that it was a testament to my strength and character that I was where I was now. In a time of such self doubt, I really needed to hear that right now. I may now meet everyone’s approval, but I can feel in my gut I’m being true to myself. 

Those kind words were more than a happiness moment, they helped me pick myself up and keep walking on my path. 

As a bonus happiness moment I had the girls help me in the garden today. It’s time to get out what we can before everything freezes. They pulled carrots and onions, and dug potatoes. The potatoes hold a special place in our heart because they are ones that my great grandfather brought over from Ireland almost 150 years ago. 

The purple potatoes. I wonder what he wound think of his great – great granddaughter digging them up outside of the house he built all those years ago. Our roots run deep here. 

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That’s what it’s all about 

I spent a lot of time today thinking about my community – not just my tribe, but the community that we live in. When we moved back I was very mindful about the fact that I wanted to make Cochrane our hometown. It has always been a community I have felt part of, even though we have always lived on the outside of it. 

With that in mind, we started building relationships with the people in town – making new friends (reacquainting with old ones), getting to know the people who work in the shops we frequent – the grocery store, the cafes, the pet store – developing a church community (still a work in progress). Every time we go into town we see people we know. For the kids and I who were strangers and foreigners for years, that is a really big deal. It means we are home, we have a place where we belong – there’s a lot of security and joy that comes from that. 

Then we also have the blessing of our big and crazy tribe. People get added to it and it grows, but the sense of peace that comes from it stays the same. 

Jenna has developed a strong friendship with a delightful girl from her school. It has begun a friendship with her mother and I. I think those kinds of friendships are the best – where the whole family develops a bond. 

The two girls are in the yard playing Star Wars with bamboo sticks. My favourite view from my house is the one out the kitchen window towards the barn. Usually it’s because I love the barn, I love the animals that usually are out there, but mostly it’s because that view gives me the feeling of home. When I looked out and saw them playing there I realized how much this has become home for the kids too. Happiness moment extrordinaire. 

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Divine Intervention

I was in kind of a pissy mood this morning (shocking because usually I’m such a treat first thing). I had a couple of things happen that had left a bitter taste in my mouth and I was feeling pretty annoyed. I kind of sat with those feelings for part of the morning, trying to figure out what to do. I played out conversations I could have or actions I could take to express my hurt and discontent. Nothing seemed to really feel right and I wasn’t sure what to do about it.

The image of my beloved Pastor from our church in VA kept popping into my mind and I decided it was time to touch base with her. When things were at their worst, when I was totally broken and alone, it was her hand that reached out to help me up. She not only helped me through my situation, but she walked me onto the path that brought me to this awesome relationship with God. She was absolutely divine intervention.

I sent her an email discussing the events in our family over the past few months. Some things I’ve shared here, a lot I have not – I shared it all with her. She is one of those amazing people who will listen to it all and then walk alongside you without judgement. I miss her support and advice more than I had realized, but I feel so grateful that she was there for me in a time when it literally saved my life.

She wrote me back and caught me up on her life and her family. It was wonderful to get that little update and to know that this person who for me radiates the love of God is still fulfilling her dharma.

It was amazing how emailing with her put me into a different place emotionally. All of those discontented feelings that had been running around in my brain seemed to have quieted themselves after that. My heart felt clearer and more at peace. It was a very clear and satisfying happiness moment. She reminds me how important it is to hold out that helping hand whenever it is possible – you never know the difference it could make in someone’s life.

Image result for i believe in prayer. it is the best way to draw strength from heaven

 

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Peace Day

It’s been a long and sometimes difficult journey towards peace. Almost everything about the way I lived my life had to change in order for that peace to return to begin to return. And because life is funny and ironic, all of those changes brought me back to my home – back to where things began. I’m a better, stronger version of who I was when I left, but eternally grateful that we are back home once again. 

There is a certain peace that I find here at the ranch, surrounded by my tribe, that I have never been able to find anywhere else. Finding the grounding and peace in the support of my environment allowed me to turn within and understand that my true peace really comes from inside my soul, from my relationship with God. 

Remembering today  that amidst the chaos and uncertainty I can choose sit in my own quiet and peace is a powerful happiness moment. 

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Flashlights in the yard 

This evening I grabbed my flashlight to head over to my mom’s. As I got into the yard (field I guess it is), I saw another flashlight bobbing through the darkness. We yelled and flashed our lights obnoxiously  at each other while we laughed. It was my nephew heading home after feeding Derek the calf. 

Oh Derek. He’s so cute


We stood in the driveway and somehow got on the topic of the hardships involved in being the oldest sibling (the oldest vs youngest has been a longstanding joke between me, my kids, and my nephew and niece). We both agreed that as the oldest ones we had issues that could never be properly appreciated by the youngests. Then we laughed knowing that all of us really have pretty charmed and blessed lives. It was a great happiness moment. I’m so thankful there is family so close by so those kind of impromptu visits can happen. 

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On a day like this 

On a day like this one I have extra gratitude for the fact that I write a happiness blog. I’m thankful that looking for a moment of happiness in each and every day has become a habit – something I have done faithfully every damn day for over a year and a half. Because on a day like this one it’s extra easy to get bogged down by what sometimes feels like never ending pain and heartache. I feel like surely there has been enough hurt and suffering for the three of us, why do we still find old wounds being ripped open? Will we ever heal or are we just broken?

Then something happens and we laugh. The pain is still there, but so is the happiness, the love, the faith, the gratitude. I am reminded that every day we are farther away from the source of those painful memories and closer to healing. 

Every morning as we drive over the hill by our house we are greeted with a stunning view of the foothills and the mountains. Every morning I say look at the mountains, look at how beautiful it is. Can you believe we live here? And the kids roll their eyes and pretend they’re tired of hearing it. But once in a while I forget to say it and then I hear one of them start up. That moment brings me happiness every day.

Today my happiness moment came in the form of snort inducing laughter from funnies made by the boy. Even with the clouds, he is a constant ray of sunshine in my life. 

Seriously though, the mountains…. Can you believe we live here? Thank God we are back home. 

 

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In the tree 

Jenna had her friend over last night for a sleep over. Finally she has made the great girlfriend here that she prayed for.  The two are such a great combination. They laugh well together and do an amazing job of supporting each other. Both have had some family shit go on over the past couple of years and they speak the same language when it comes to that. 

This morning I was looking for them so we could leave. It took me a while but finally I found them here: 


It brought back great memories of my childhood – climbing trees behind the house with my cousin. I’m so thankful this is her childhood.  My happiness moment. 

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Candy candy

We took a girl trip to Banff this evening for fondue and the candy store. Jenna’s BFF is just about the best girl one could hope to have as a friend and it delivers me to hear them having fun together.  I got a nice visit with my mom which I really enjoyed. We are fortunate that we have such a great place to run away to so easily – even more fortunate that we have loved ones to run away with. It was cheesy happiness. 


I had another happiness moment earlier today as I broke bread with one of my favourite people. Heart balancing happiness – it is good. 

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The cousin thing 

I know I talk about it all the time, but it is such a huge blessing to be back here at home surrounded by our tribe. After so many years spent feeling ungrounded and uncertain I will never, ever take for granted the love that comes from our people. 

Moving around so much it was a constant effort to make new friends and establish ourselves. Now when we go into town we always see people we know, we live in a yard filled with family, and see loved ones on the road every day. 

This morning I received a text from a cousin asking if we could meet for coffee after school drop off. We did, it was a really fun and very quick catch up. We are the same age and have 45 years of shared memories (well, she has a few months more…) which makes for a very real and special kind of friendship. 

This evening Jenna headed off on her bike with her cousin. They’re forming the same kind of bond that my sister and I have with our cousins and it warms my soul to see this happen. I’m so happy for both kids that they are living in an area surrounded by people who love them. A big happiness moment this evening watching those two take off laughing. 

I followed slowly on foot. It was a gorgeous evening. 

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