Tag Archives: law of attraction

happiness

Canadian Tire on a Sunday evening 

Nothing is quite like an evening stroll through our Canadian Tire in Cochrane.  There’s always something certain to capture our attention and entertain us. This time did not disappoint. 

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The boy and I were laughing so hard we could barely see. I love this store. So much happiness. 

I had a different moment of happiness this morning a happiness bonus – an overnight visit from a cousin on my Dad’s side. It has been such a blessing to get to know her better. Those family ties are strong and with all the shared history it makes for a lifetime bond even though we grew up on opposite sides of the country. It brings me a lot of happiness, I know it would for my dad as well. 

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Walking with the swans 

It was another beautiful afternoon here and I took full advantage of it by taking my Dotted Dog out for a walk. 

The swans were all over the place – lots of them on the slough, but also many of them flying around. They would circle around and around me while  I was walking, and of course that made me think of Dad. 

I’m sure he’s with me more right now as we get closer to his birthday. The change of seasons also has me thinking of him as well. But the swans were always his thing. He used to take us out there when we were little to look at them, and sent me so many photos of them in later years. 

I found some of his swan photos in my email. He was such a talanted photographer and  his photos are a wonderful legacy left for us to remember him by. 

Thankfully we don’t have all this snow now, but it’s a fantastic shot he took 

One of my favorites 

This is how they were circling over my head today. 
It was a happiness moment that brought me close to my Dad today as I walked with the swans. I miss him so much – i miss him even more because my kids needed him so badly. But there’s a reason for everything and above all I have faith. 

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We remember and we celebrate 

The day began with a very thoughtful happiness moment. Even in my most tree hugging, pacifist loving, free spirited moments of life I have always realized I have the freedom to choose those beliefs because of the men and women who sacrificed everything so that we could live in this amazing country. 

I took the kids to a Remembrance Day ceremony in Cochrane this morning. They have always been very powerful for me and it felt good to share that with the kids.  I love our country so much and I am so grateful that we are back home in Canada. 

This evening we celebrated my brother in law’s birthday. Because he’s so much fun and a great sport, he totally made Jacob’s evening by dressing up in his gift – a matching chewbacca onesie. What a pair they were running around the house roaring. We laughed so hard tonight – this is such a big part of why I’m so grateful I have the family that I do. This close knit tribe of people is something to be treasured and celebrated. Happy, happy, happiness. 

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Chewbacca

Often the best happiness moments happen spontaneously- this was definitely the case this evening. 

The boy and I were in the city doing some errands and found ourselves walking through Chinook Mall. We were laughing at all the ugly Christmas sweaters that have started to make their appearance in the store windows. 

Things were brought to a whole new level though when we saw the Chewbacca onesie hanging on the rack at Bluenotes. Things got even more real when we discovered everything in the store was 40% off. 

Because EVERYONE needs to have one of these. 

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And not just the awesome onesie – but a person in their life like this kid of mine. He makes me laugh so hard I can barely breathe. 

Happy Chewy happiness moment. 

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Surfin’ Bird

 

For reasons I’m still not sure of, Jacob and I watched PeeWee Herman sing Surfin’ Bird on YouTube this morning during our Timmy’s coffee stop. If you haven’t seen it (or don’t want to admit you have) – watch it here:

I think I was probably around Jacob’s age when I was listening to this ridiculously silly song the first time around. It may be crazy, but man did it ever make us laugh.

When we got in the car somehow it decided to play from my phone onto the car stereo and we were blasted with PeeWee all the way to school. We were laughing so hard by the time we got there we both had tears in our eyes.

When I picked the kids up from school the funny was still there. Jacob ended up laughing so hard he gave himself the hiccups which of course made Jenna and I laugh even harder.

Few things are as good for the soul as a really good belly laugh. I remember the comedian when we were at Just for Laughs years ago in Montreal telling us to always find the funny and I think we usually do. I’m fortunate that I live with two other souls who have the same warped sense of humour as I do. We have a good time in our little family – that is a gratitude filled happiness moment.

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Faith can move mountains 

Today I told my faith story to someone for the first time. It was so different to tell it from that perspective, I’ve thought of it privately as a story of faith for sometime, but I’ve never really shared it in that context before. Telling it as a journey of faith, instead of a time of trauma,  made me realize it’s time to tell it like that more. Time to tell how God came and healed my life at a time when I felt I was completely broken, shattered, left lying on the ground. I’m not broken anymore, and although I didn’t realize it until recently,  I don’t think I ever was. What I was was just really hurt and lost.

The last couple of years have consisted of a series of miracles for me, the only time the miracles stopped was when I ignored my faith, my intuition, the voice of God. This summer, after months of standing firmly in my faith, in my trust, in my love,  I stopped listening to that voice and found myself once again a hot mess. It was a good reminder that I always need that time to connect with my Source, I need to listen to that intuition (which for me is the voice of God), I need to honour how I function in my faith. If I don’t, I feel all out of sorts and it takes me a really long time to figure out what is wrong (because I’m not connected to my Source anymore and I can’t find my balance – when I can’t find my balance I’m screwed).

Telling my story today in the context of faith really helped remind me of how far I’ve come on my spiritual journey. I think I’ve always had faith on an abstract level, but when I fell to the floor in despair a few years ago – having tried to fix my life myself – and finally handed everything over to God, everything changed for me. Suddenly things that seemed impossible started happening all over the place in my life. Small miracles, big miracles, things were changing and I was filled with love and gratitude for all I was being blessed with.

In the past couple of months I’ve got my spiritual groove back and everything is falling into place again. In fact new, really big, cool, things are starting to take shape and I love that. What I do know for certain is that I have to keep myself focused on having faith in order for these things to keep on happening. Faith is what grounds me, what gives me wings, what shapes me, what drives me. Faith not only moves mountains, it brought me back home to mine.

Tonight I was out on my walk and I was thinking about God and dad and my faith journey. I had a memory of a moment a few days before dad’s death when my mom, dad, sister, and I were all sitting quietly in the sunroom. In those last days there was a real awareness that there were not going to be very more moments left for the original four to have time together. I sighed and said out loud to God that I really missed those times of my original family being together. I looked up and circling around the slough were four swans. Something about them made me think of our original four and it made me smile. It was a moment of happiness brought together by a day of deep introspection about what my faith is and how it has shaped my life.

Then of course, because I’m me, about 10 minutes further down the road – at the spot where it seems I am prone to these types of meltdowns – I had a full out yelling session at God. I wasn’t even aware that I had these issues pent up inside of me – and honestly when I was done I was pretty glad that I live in the middle of nowhere so no one else had to witness that. But, I have to say  that for me those moments of breakdown yelling at God are often the most healing and productive ones.

I often wonder what it’s like for those people who talk best to God on their knees, heads bent in prayer. I’ve never been able to pray when other people are around, and I don’t think I could even pray like I was taught we should. I just go out in a field and chatter away to God about everything and anything. I talk, I laugh, I cry, I yell, I ask, I give thanks, I do it all.  I think it comes from the hours spent in those same fields on the back of a horse – which was how I first found my spiritual connection – it seems to still be the most effective method for me.

What I am discovering is that even though I’ve got a whirlwind of things going on, even though there’s so much that is uncertain, even though I have no idea what tomorrow will bring, the fact that I’m learning to walk deep in my faith allows me to say it is well with my soul. 

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Old town

I had an afternoon in town today that reminded me of how Cochrane used to be – you know, when going to town was a social event and you knew almost every person you came across.

I had tea with members of my tribe – soul sisters really. I don’t remember meeting them, they’ve just always been part of the extended family of loved ones. It is such a blessing to have these people who we can go years (in this case a year – it took us a year to get together again!) without seeing but when we get back together it’s like no time has passed. Well, except for the fact that we have to all talk like mad to catch each other up on what has happened. And the little time we had today was not nearly enough for that. Still, we laughed and shared in our precious time. That was happiness.

What a great thing  – to have a visit and to know that we have to do it again soon because there’s still so much more to share and laugh about (it’s a bonus that we all agreed that we have to be home in bed by 9 which seriously limits our social availability. I love that my people sleep). That will be more happiness.

On the way home I skidded into an old friend riding her horse down the road. I had an impromptu visit with her which came with the added bonus of her offering me a horse to ride, and a reminder of her offer to give riding lessons to Jenna. Horses… yay!!! Friends…… bigger yay! Bonus happiness.

I’m so grateful that we have this tribe of people around us. Sometimes life gets overwhelming and really difficult and I feel all alone, but then I look around and remember I’m surrounded by all of these amazing people.  I’ve learned that sometimes you need to walk away and sometimes you need to stand strong and fight your battles. I’m thankful that I don’t have to do it alone.

 

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Walk of faith 

Last summer I was outside in the yard playing with my sister, her kids, and my kids. When it was time to come back in the house, my sister stood and held the kitchen door open so my (then) 4 year old niece could come inside.

Instead of walking through the open door, S stood just outside and stressed about the fact that she was fearful that her mommy would shut the door on her. In the stubborn way that only little kids can have she stood there refusing to move, all the while saying that she doubted that her mommy would keep the door open for her.

My sister explained to her (several times) that she would never shut the door on her, asked her had she ever not been there for her when S needed her? She would never hurt her, S knew that she could trust her, and she was her mom and she loved her very much.

Yet still, this little girl doubted this loving being who had never shown her anything besides safe, caring, unconditional, protective love.

When S finally pranced safely through the door, I turned to my sister and said do you ever think that’s how God feels about us? He’s never given us any reason to doubt him, He’s always protected us and loved us, and yet we seem to question Him every step of the way.

It’s kind of stood out to me as an important reminder that I can and should trust that He is walking beside me, is loving me, and is holding the door open for me all I have to do is walk through it.

Apparently because I felt like crying this afternoon, I spent some time going through old emails that my Dad had sent me. He used to send me some really thoughtful comments about my blog, and his messages were always so full of love and support. So, I cried because I miss him, I cried because we didn’t come home sooner, I cried because I feel like I’ve let my kids down.

But, in all that crying, I came across an email sent by my dad which included a photo he titled “the door waiting to be opened“. He said:

the caption that hit me for this photo is “the door waiting to be opened”. I realize that it’s not the initial object the eye focuses on, but as I was taking the photo (in the middle of apple blossoms with the trunk of the aging apple tree in front of me) that was the message that came to me.

I kind of feel like I’ve been standing outside waiting for the door to be opened, when in reality it’s been open all the time just waiting for me to walk through it. It’s that whole having faith that as I walk through it, knowing that it won’t get slammed on me. And while people can be really good at slamming doors, I have no reason to believe that He who has led me so patiently on this path would do anything besides hold my hand as I walk through it.

 

I shared this story in a small group this morning at church. Starting to really own and understand the strength in my faith – that’s my happiness moment. Starting to walk through the door – that’s me walking into my dharma, my bliss, my love.

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Absolutely nothing 

I’m lying here in the hammock in our yard staring up at the big old trees. I came out to put away all the outdoor furniture. But since it’s 20C and the 5th of November i. Alberta, I succumbed to the call of the hammock. 

I was looking at our old house. There’s so much history in those walls, in this yard. It’s where my family started building a life in Alberta a hundred and thirtyish years ago. 

I love that after all of our time  of uncertainty, of feeling ungrounded that this is where we were brought to heal and get strong  again 

Jacob looked out the window of his bedroom and waved at me. I realized that he and his great grandfather who were born 98 years apart both spent parts of their childhood surrounded by the walls of this home. 

The great thing about a beautiful day like this where I have accomplished absolutely nothing is that it has given me time to reflect on where we are, where I want to see us go, how grateful I am for all that God has provided for us, and how incredibly fortunate we are to be part of this tribe. 

It is what happiness moments are all about 

Sunrise from our front yard. 

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Pizza in the mountains 

We took a forced family fun trip to Canmore today – my mom, my girl, my sister and her kids. It was beautiful here today. The car said 21C which was almost nicer than most days during our summer of rain. 

I love that  we are so close to the mountains – I need those mountain hugs on a regular basis. It was a fantastic happiness moment sharing supper with the family in a place that we all love. 

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