Tag Archives: single parent

happiness

The Boys

I shared some time today with two of my favourite boys.

After dropping the monsters off at school, I walked into the field and had some cuddle time with Derek. I have no idea why I feel this bond with this guy – being that I’m more than a little afraid of the bovine species – but man I love him. I think it’s because he was born into such tough circumstances, and not only survived but flourished despite the odds being against him that makes me admire him so much. Anyway, he’s awesome..

 

I had supper and did some errands with my human boy this evening. As I dropped him off at his grandma’s for the night he turned and ran back to the car and yelled “I love you mom”,  and then went inside. The bond I have with that kid is crazy strong, and it was born out of some pretty tough circumstances. I will never, ever take for granted the relationship I have with my kids. I feel so fortunate that they want to bring me so closely into their hearts.

My boys – happiness moments. Bliss. Love.

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The stubborn gene

If you know me or my people in real life, then you know that the stubborn gene runs deep in our genes. Sometimes it is a good thing – it has created a group of incredibly strong people – sometimes it is not so good – because…. stubborn – sometimes it is just funny.

Tonight Jenna came home and found the back door locked. She went to the window near where Jacob was sitting and started knocking on it and yelling at him to go open the door. He yelled back that she should go to the front door, which was open, and the same distance for her to walk. She refused, wanting to go in the back door. She continued banging and yelling, he continued yelling and refusing. I sat on the couch laughing my butt off at how incredibly stubborn they both were being. It went on for a good 10 minutes before there was a break.

In an interesting turn of events, Jenna gave up and came in through the front door. Usually in a battle of wills Jacob gives up first, preferring the more passive route. It was hilariously funny and I enjoyed it thoroughly.

I had a spontaneous lunch today with a cousin in town. I love that we are back in a place where I run into my tribe on a regular basis. It was lovely to catch up with her and share some laughs. Our bond runs deep, and my lunch time with her was a moment of great happiness.

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Basketball 

After a year of hoping and practicing, the boy had tryouts for basketball today – and he made the team. He’s had a pretty rough year and he so needed something positive like this in his life. I’m incredibly happy and so proud of him. He really dedicated himself to getting more skilled for this year. Heart happy happiness moment. 

Things are getting happier and happier in my little family. It’s a long road of healing, but we are on it and it’s getting better all the time. 

Jenna and I had to stop and admire the sunset on the way home. And then she had to listen to me do the whole can you believe we live here? Look at the mountains thing that I do so well. 

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Meet the teacher 

The boy went very unwillingly with me to parent teacher conferences today. He pointed out that no other kids had to go and only because he has a damn helicopter mom he had to show up. It’s not like it’s a new thing, I’ve always made both kids to go their conferences. They have the most to gain from learning what their strengths and weaknesses are. 

Secretly that boy likes that I care how he’s doing and that I make him be involved and accountable for his learning. But I pretend I don’t know that. 

My moment of happiness today was hearing his teachers tell me what a joy he is to have in their classes. They all seemed to know and genuinely like him (a huge benefit of a smaller school). They see him for the great blessing that he is and appreciate his quiet kindness. 

Of course there are things to work on, he’s not perfect. But it’s always so nice to hear other people who spend a lot of time with him say what a fantastic human he is. 

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Surfin’ Bird

 

For reasons I’m still not sure of, Jacob and I watched PeeWee Herman sing Surfin’ Bird on YouTube this morning during our Timmy’s coffee stop. If you haven’t seen it (or don’t want to admit you have) – watch it here:

I think I was probably around Jacob’s age when I was listening to this ridiculously silly song the first time around. It may be crazy, but man did it ever make us laugh.

When we got in the car somehow it decided to play from my phone onto the car stereo and we were blasted with PeeWee all the way to school. We were laughing so hard by the time we got there we both had tears in our eyes.

When I picked the kids up from school the funny was still there. Jacob ended up laughing so hard he gave himself the hiccups which of course made Jenna and I laugh even harder.

Few things are as good for the soul as a really good belly laugh. I remember the comedian when we were at Just for Laughs years ago in Montreal telling us to always find the funny and I think we usually do. I’m fortunate that I live with two other souls who have the same warped sense of humour as I do. We have a good time in our little family – that is a gratitude filled happiness moment.

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Table talk 

We celebrated the end of the long weekend with a big, crazy supper with loud kids gathered around the table. 

One of the things I really missed in our years away were the family suppers we used to have before we left. I’m realizing more and more that I need to be organizing those myself now. If we are fortunate enough to have these people around us, we need to be breaking bread with them more often. 

My happiness moment was preparing the meal with him and then being part of the big loud table as we ate our meal. It’s good to be home. 

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She’s Squidward

I’m so excited – today I picked up Jenna’s clarinet for school band. She’s been talking about it all summer and I’m so happy for her that she’s going to learn a new instrument. 

There have been Squidward and his clarinet jokes all summer long and she says it all with a smile. It’s going to be so much fun to watch her learn a new instrument. Between this and the guitar it’s going to be a very musical year for her. 

I feel such incredible gratitude that the kids are finding activities that they enjoy and that I’m able to participate in it with them. It’s a huge blessing. 

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Deep Rest

After complaining of being tired all week, I slept for 11 hours last night. I can’t even begin to explain how much better that long sleep made me feel.  It’s pure happiness. 

I have known that I have not been getting optimal sleep for some time – and for many different reasons. Some of it was poor lifestyle choices (somehow this summer staying up too late has seemed like a good idea on too many occasions), a lot of it is the fallout of emotional stresses. I’m working on earlier bedtimes again, and the emotional stress is now mostly healing old wounds instead of new ones being made – so there’s hope on both those fronts. 
This week I got my order from MAPI, a company who sells awesome Ayurvedic herbs and products. One of the formulas I ordered this time was called Deep Rest, a product I used a couple of years back with great results. I think it’s a big part of why I’m starting to get better rests again now. It always amazes me how powerful those herbs are and makes me so grateful that I have learned so much about how to incorporate them into a more balanced lifestyle. 

We spent the day at Calaway Park today – our first and last visit of the year. It was so fun watching all the kids run around laughing and enjoying themselves. I really enjoy those kinds of moments. Having a car full of happy and exhausted kids at the end of the day is another great happiness moment. Being able to share in that enjoyment with him was the icing on the cake (or in our case, the sugar on the mini donut). 

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A few good men 

We spent this last weekend remembering and celebrating the lives of some really good men in our family.  I was thinking earlier today how incredibly lucky we are that we have men like we do in our extended tribe. 

I look at what I have learned coming through this divorce and I understand how easy it would be to end up angry at men based on that experience. And while I’m still pretty angry at Mr. X (especially as we have to head back to court again just so I can get permission to send my kid to therapy) it makes me appreciate the amazing men we have in our lives. In fact I feel like more than ever the kids and I have very purposeful conversations about the inner strength of these men. 

We spent the weekend remembering my dad, celebrating the birthdays of some uncles in the extended family, and also mourning the loss of one more of these great men. Saying goodbye is always difficult and I feel deeply for my cousins who are in the process of doing that now. 

But how lucky are we that we have this community of strong, moral people to help guide us through life. When you love someone there will always be the pain of loss, but so much better that than to never love at all. 

My sister branding uncle Dave back in the day 


My happiness moment today was driving Jacob to football practice. He’s waited a year to get back to playing and it was awesome to see his excitement. We are blessed. 

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