Author Archives: Melissa

happiness

Alone time 

I’ve taken the kids to the wind up party for their VBS and I’m hiding out in the parking lot in the shade of a tree. I came here with the intention of going and mingling with the other parents, but when I arrived I realized how tired I am. Instead I decided to steal an hour of quiet time to myself. 

I feel like the last few months have been busy putting out fires. I’ve tried to make time to stop and regroup and embrace the quiet time I need to do that, but it hasn’t always been possible. As a result I’m feeling tired and overwhelmed. The good thing is I know I just need to slow for a bit and hit my recharge button. I also really need to spend some time figuring out where I want to spend my energy. There is so much happiness that has come into my life over the past year – and also a lot of pain and hurt that has left it. I need to rebalance myself and acknowledge all the change. I spent so many years in a fearful survival mode and none of that is relevant anymore. It’s like I need the constant reminder that we are safe, we are loved, we can let go. I don’t have that huge burden to carry all alone anymore. I can lay it down. 

My happiness moment is sitting under the tree in my hometown – knowing we are safe and loved and that it is time to move ahead in joy. 

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Bestie

Today was an extra special day in my life. One of my old high school friends – the good kind that knows where all the bodies are buried and has helped me bury a few – is here for a visit. There’s something so awesomely comfortable about an old friend who just knows. We go years and years without a visit and then it’s like no time at all has passed. There’s old things to laugh about and new things to share. 

Since our last visit about 6 years between the two of us we have gone through almost every major life change except a marriage. Obviously there’s lots to catch up on. A happiness moment for me was meeting her beautiful granddaughter who calls her bestie because that is what they are. I feel so fortunate to have such a strong woman in my tribe. She has stepped up to the plate time and time again and I admire that. 

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Old times 

I had a quiet evening at my mom’s house – sitting in Grandma’s Kitchen – looking at old photos. Last year when dad was in the hospital I started taking in old albums and going through them with him. After he died I couldn’t finish going through them. It seems enough time has gone by that I could bear to open them again. 

We had such a fun, weird, busy, horse filled childhood. It was heart warming to look at old Pony Club photos of our little gang of riders doing things that would be considered much to dangerous now to even talk about. Yet somehow we all survived and turned out to be an incredibly strong bunch of women. 

As well as the horse photos I found some good ones of play times with my sister. Like the day I decided to turn her into a knight 


And one of my favourite skating memories at the creek with my sister and cousins 


My mom and uncle tied rope to the back of the truck and pulled us kids down the creek. So. Much. Fun. 


I love being back here for so many reasons, but near the top is the fact that my kids will get to grow up in this tribe and will make it their own. Jenna spent the afternoon with her cousins down south on the ranch pulling chamomile weeds. She came back tired and full of stories which exactly how it should be. 

Family memories – a heart bliss happiness moment. 

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My hometown 

Since moving home I’ve put a lot of effort into making Cochrane our hometown. I was fortunate because by coming back home I had a ready made group of friends and of course my family – my tribe. But the kids needed to get to know the extended family and establish their own friendships. That is finally starting to happen for them. 

Jenna was invited to join VBS today and as soon as she got there was surrounded by friends and cousins. I had a nice chat with my own cousin and also one with a new friend. I could see the comfort level that Jenna has in this place be so much greater than it was last year. 

Jacob joined a group of school friends tonight for a movie. I love that he’s developing his own tribe in town that he can hang with. Even though this was a move home, a move always seems to take a year for it to shake itself out and feel like normal. 

Comfort in our hometown, that feeling of belonging and having a safe place to land. My happiness moment. 

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Puzzle Peace

I had a gentle reminder tonight that I need to be paying better attention to the answers that I’m getting to my prayers. Last year as Dad was dying  I finally understood that prayers were answered in a good way but not always in the way I wanted them to be. This seems to be a lesson I will need to learn a few times before it sticks.  

I have prayed over and over for peace in certain areas of my life. There has been powerful movement and change towards that peace, but there are still a few ties lingering that hold me back from fully letting go. I was talking with him tonight about peace and what I want and what I need to let go of to have that happen (I love that we have these kinds of conversations. I have wanted someone to talk like this with my whole life). 

As I was driving home I went over our conversation in my mind and felt a wave of peace come to me as part of my healing puzzle fell into place. I had been looking for a certain way to measure my strength, healing, and growth. I had a specific objective I wanted in order to gauge my success. I realized that in fact God has already shown me exactly what my strength is, He’s helped me heal, and I know just how much I’ve grown. So the fact that my measurable objective wasn’t there does not take away from the fact that what I was looking for has been with me all along. 

I think one of my favourite things about conversations with him is that he can look at all of my feelings and then put them into thoughts. It amazes me how he can open his mouth and say to me the words I have been unable to find that describe exactly how I’m feeling. 

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The lawn and the couch 

A double happiness moment on a day that seems to have spilled into the next one. 

Jacob and I attacked the yard a bit this afternoon. It was so dry nothing was growing and then suddenly it rained and everything went out of control. I am making headway on the weeds and our beautiful yard is looking loved again. I have so much gratitude for this old house that has provided so much security and comfort for us it’s nice to love it back where we can. 

I spent the evening at his house watching reruns of Friends and talking and laughing. I am so thankful he walked into my life. 

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Wedding at the ranch 

This year has been one of new beginnings and embracing adventure. 
We spent the day at a family wedding. I love reasons for the clan to get together, but it’s especially lovely to have such a joyous occasion to share the day with. 
It was a beautiful wedding outside at their ranch. We visited with family, snuck to the creek for a bit, and enjoyed watching the happy couple. 
I love love and it makes me so happy to see a couple starting off a life together. A great happiness moment.

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Canada Day 2016

I love celebrating  Canada’s birthday and this is the third one in a row we have been home for. That also made it the third year in a row we went to the Canada Day parade in Canmore, which means it is officially a tradition now. 

The highway was insane, but totally worth it once we got there. My sister kindly saved us seats and we had the best spot we’ve thus far – although  it did make us prime targets for the water guns being sprayed on the route  (fortunately it was super hot and they were most welcome). 

How very Canadian 


After the parade we went to the creek and relaxed and enjoyed some family time. This is without a doubt my favorite thing to do. It nourishes my soul to be at that spot. It was the perfect way to finish celebrating the birthday of the country I love so much. 

A day filled with happiness moments. We are blessed. 

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The good kind of scared 

I took Jenna and her friend to Spruce Meadows today. It was a perfect day to go – before the big tournament starts so it still had the feel of a horse show instead of being a big spectator event. Those are fun too, but today I just needed a good fix of horses and their riders. 

I love watching the amatures, the only thing better is watching the kids on their ponies. It’s a totally different sport than what goes on in the International Ring. The girls really got into it too. They figured out how many faults you got for what and paid attention to how the horses were getting around the course. It was really cool to listen to them be so excited about something that has brought me so much joy. 

I realized while watching the jumpers that I miss the good kind of scared. Where something gives me butterflies, but I’m excited, and that little thrill of fear is a good thing. I spent so many years where the only kind of scared I felt was a really bad kind that I forgot there’s another kind. The one you feel when you put your trust in another living creature and take a huge leap of faith. I know the only reason I ever managed to get around a course was because of the trust based relationship I had with my horses. My human relationships now are much like that as well. I’m only walking this path with people I trust and love. 

A beautiful happiness moment at one of my favourite places on Earth followed by a family supper at his house. It was good. 

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Little kindness

We spent the afternoon down at the creek. This is one of my all time favourite things to do. I wait all year until it’s once again creek season – which here can last a week or two months depending on how Mother Nature is feeling. 

I consider it such a blessing that my kids are able to spend part of their childhood living this life of freedom and family. They are thriving while learning what it means to be part of this family and part of this community. 


On our way back home we passed our neighbour and the kind soul who lets us swim at his spot on the creek. We were driving up to the gate and he dropped what he was doing and ran over to get the gate for us so we didn’t have to get out. 

These simple acts of kindness are so fantastic. Think how great our world would be if we all went a little out of our way to be extra kind to our neighbours. He did it with a smile and made us all feel so happy to have encountered him. It made me realize I want to focus more on bringing smiles to those around me. I am in a pretty happy place right now – why not share that bliss? A happiness moment that can be shared. 

We drove through an amazing rainbow this afternoon leaving Cochrane. A powerful reminder of God’s promise to us. 

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