Tag Archives: Ayurveda

happiness

Just do the opposite 

During my Ayurvedic energy session yesterday I spent some time going through my diet to see what we could switch up to help with my sleep. 

We talked about my love of maple syrup (I am Canadian after all) and Asrael said it was ok to keep that in – if I was chowiig down on ice cream that would be different and we would need to address that. 

So, today after I picked the kids up from school we headed to Mackay’s and I did the opposite of what may be best for my sleep, but we sat outside and ate ice cream. But it’s Mackay’s so that makes it ok right?? So many memories are attached to this ice cream, it is a little like a happy pill. 

  
Then we grabbed my mom and went for a family movie night. What a great way to head into the weekend. 

I have had a huge release of that negative emotion and stress over the past couple of days. I know that we will make it through this and that we are loved and protected. We are attracting wonderful things into our lives. 

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happiness

If you don’t tell your story, someone else will. 

If you don’t tell your story, someone else will 

I came across this quote this morning while reading an article about the Canadian beef industry. Given my family and background, the article held a lot of interest to me because of the content. But, that quote just leapt out at me and hit me right in the soul. 

I have let someone else tell my story for a long time. Finally after a lot of work and faith building I am strong enough to start to tell my own story. 

My close tribe already know most of it. They have been my angels who have held me up as I have regained my strength and sense of self worth. Many others have just sensed it and have reached in with loving help. 

I have a feeling it will get worse before it gets better, but I also know that I am strong enough to stand in this storm. 

I spent some time doing some energy work this morning with my dear friend and mentor Asrael from Ananda Ayurveda. I can’t express properly the gratitude I have for this wonderful, spiritual woman who had guided me out of my darkness. 

We worked on helping let go of a lot of the painful emotions that are coming my way. I have been putting myself in the path of the strong chinook winds and letting them blow all the yuck out of me – both in my imagination and literally as I stand on the ridge and cleanse my soul. As we were deep in our energy work Ella the Yoga Cat (who loves Asrael and always comes and hangs out when we work together) came by. She punched me in the head, glared at me, then turned and stuck her fancy tail up in the air and marched away. I don’t think she liked the energy I was getting rid of!! Me neither but I’m glad to have it gone! 

This morning I started my happiness moment early as I ran outside in my bare feet and danced around appreciating the beautiful sunrise. Ok, I was mostly dancing because my feet were cold. But it was a glorious way to start the day. A lot of good things are happening.   

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Do what calms you 

Learning Ayurveda has truly changed everything about how I live my life. I look at all the emotional events that have happened in the past year and I know that a few years ago I would not have had the strength to deal with them. 

Now I’m dealing with all of these things head on. Not always in the most effective manner at first, but I’m absolutely walking through all the joys and sorrows of life. I’m a better, calmer, happier version of myself. 

I may not have any idea where this new path I’m on is taking me, but I feel deep in my soul that I have the strength to flourish and appreciate every step. 

A big part of what has helped guide me has been developing a meditation practice. I don’t follow the one I was instructed to (I did do it for a long time). Last May, a little before Dad died, I discovered the Moses Code Meditation and completely fell in love with it. When I meditate along with the music I feel myself being drawn into heaven, or drawn towards Source. It’s often very emotional for me as I feel Dad’s presence very strongly – so usually I spend a huge part of my meditation crying. But I love it, and it makes me want to meditate. 

What’s even better is that the kids also love it. They’re drawn to the music on the same instinctual level that I am, although their feelings and reasons are different. We do it nightly, and I never get any complaints that it’s something they don’t want to do. 

My happiness moment – sharing that time of connection to each other and to our Greater Power. Namaste.  

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Stretch it out 

I woke up this morning and realized that it was time to deal with the fact that I’ve been ungrounded and out of sorts the past few days. 

Thank goodness for my Ayurvedic training. I’ve already been working at my sleep routines, but today I kicked it all up a notch. I cancelled other plans and put work to the side and spent the morning doing yoga, meditating, and going for a centring walk along the ridge with the dog 

This was the early morning view from the ridge. The moon had already gone to bed by the time I made it out there (this was yesterday morning’s photo)   
Because this was the walk I always did with dad, I stopped by where we had scattered some of his ashes and had a mini meltdown. I could feel him loving and guiding me as I gathered myself back together and carried on. 

As I was walking I was filled with gratitude that we are back in this place that is home – where we are safe and loved. 

My happiness moment was realizing that even in times of turmoil I have learned how to nurture and ground myself. Learning Ayurveda was one of the best things I’ve ever done. 

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A mind – full meditation

My meditation practice is still a work in progress. Meditation is something that I have been drawn to and curious about since discovering that I love yoga. But it’s also something I’ve been hesitant to do and slow to love.

I flirted a bit with it over the years, but it wasn’t until I became a student of New World Ayurveda that it actually became a part of my daily routine. And, let’s be honest here, a lot of the time it only is part of that routine because it’s a graduation requirement. Sometimes I like it, a lot of the time I hate it, often I am bored by it, always I feel better because of it.

When I first started I was so filled with anxiety that I couldn’t do more than a few minutes before having a panic attack. My body and soul was in such distress that I couldn’t take that quiet time. It took a lot of time and a lot of determination to keep going and get through that.

Interestingly, now as a byproduct of all that hard work (and some other things learned through Ayurveda), I barely think about anxiety at all anymore. I’ve made such enormous changes in my life and I’m hardly ever anxious.

However, usually I still struggle through my meditation practice. I’ll be focusing on my mantra and then instead of slipping into the blissful state I feel I should be heading towards, my mind goes to….. hmmmm what should I have for lunch? Did I get the kids all the things they needed for school? Is the dog going through the garbage? She’s such a naughty dog. I should take her for a walk, I hear the cats moving around, is there a mouse in the house? I’m hungry. Is this almost over? Why am I not all blissful? And then some real life problems are always mixed in.

I meditate for 20 minutes at a time. When I’m getting ready to meditate, I wish that I could maybe only do 5 or 10 minutes… but the course says I have to do 20. Grumble grumble. But, it’s not until the last 5 or so minutes when my brain usually lets go of all its crap and I relax into a proper state.

Today’s meditation was a wild ride. Unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. I’m focusing on letting go, allowing, trusting, loving, listening to my heart. It’s all very challenging for me as I have a hard time trusting and because of that a hard time allowing. Although I am also painfully aware that I never am able to actually accomplish anything positive by forcing and controlling. I know the only way to get where I want to be is by surrendering and allowing.

Today though everything just went into this beautiful space and I was able to let things go and find a lot of freedom and peace. It was a beautiful moment in time that created an incredible amount of healing and strength for me. That was my happiness moment today.

 

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The whole night through 

Last night I was feeling exhausted and I went to bed early. In my perfect life I’m asleep by 9, although the last little while it’s been a bit later. Last night though I was sound asleep by 8:00. I woke up at 5:00am completely unsure as to whether it was morning or not. I couldn’t believe it when I checked my clock. I usually have difficulty sleeping through the night.

 I have a great bedtime routine learned through Ayurveda, but I find that pain usually wakes me up once or twice and makes me move around a bit. As I’ve been making changes, letting go of stress and things that no longer serve me, I’ve been relaxing more and that pain is lessening. 

I slept the whole night through. I felt amazing and that early happiness moment set me up for the rest of the day. I am never sure where this path I’m on is heading, but I’m sure enjoying walking along it. I feel like finally I’m attracting all the love and joy I have been seeking. 

God gave me a good morning high five in the form of this lovely sunrise. This was the view from my front door. 

  

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Yoga for the soul 

Discovering yoga was one of the best things that has happened to me. I consider myself very lucky because I have had wonderful people come into my life to guide my practice.

When we lived in Quebec, the mom of one of Jacob’s friends opened a yoga studio. She taught a wonderful gentle yoga class that was exactly what my body needed. She was so kind and welcoming, it made it such a safe and loving way to begin my practice.

When we moved to Rhode Island, my husband gifted me a weekend at Kripalu which was where I fell madly and deeply in love with how yoga made me feel. Kripalu yoga is exactly the kind of yoga I need to do. it does not care that I carry so much tension, or that I am not flexible, or that I am self-conscious.  It is slow and gentle, it is built on compassion, and for me it is very spiritual. The only other thing that has brought me closer to God is time on the back of a horse.

Sometime after I began my studies with New World Ayurveda, they started offering Healing Light Yoga Therapy. It was my first introduction to Asrael, who has become a very important guide and mentor. The sixth session of yoga classes began last weekend, and I was finally able to do the recorded version this morning.

It’s a pretty cool way to do a yoga class, she leads it online and we follow along at home. There is an amazing feeling of being bonded to the other people in the class even though many miles separate us. That energy knows no bounds. There’s a recorded version on their website so if you miss the live class (like I did) then you can do it at your own convenience.

I was thinking about what these classes have done for me. When I first started my anxiety was so intense I could barely function. I was actually really happy that the yoga class was online. Aside from the fact that it made it easier to fit into the day (with two kids and a busy schedule), being in the comfort of my own room meant that my general anxiety was lessened. Of course I was soon to discover that Asrael’s voice is it’s own kind of valium for calming my stress. My cat Ella agrees, anytime she hears her voice she comes and purrs beside the computer or the phone – which strongly violates her don’t let people know I like them rule.

Now I go for long periods (I mean usually days) where I don’t even remember that anxiety played such a huge role in my life. Before this it was an issue that had brought me to my knees and affected every single thing I did in my life.  A lot of factors have come into play to help with my healing – a big portion coming from my Ayurveda studies, my private sessions with Asrael, and these yoga classes.

I do practice my own breathing to calm and ground myself, but it so much easier for me to get to that groovy feeling when I am being guided. I was so happy today when I was lying on my mat and being reminded of how to take the big healing breaths.

This type of yoga is one that nourishes my soul. It feeds me on all levels and I consider it one of the most important parts of my healing and my growth. It’s not always easy, sometimes really yucky things get released, but it is always worth it. It may take a bit of time, but there is always a good feeling – right to the core of my being – that comes from these classes.

Today my happiness moment was lying on that mat breathing healing light into my soul.
Photo from the New World Ayurveda Healing Light Yoga Therapy site

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The digestive fire

  
Jacob: bwaahaaaa Jenna, I made your water gross. I put in mostly hot and then some cold so it’s a disgusting warm temperature. 

Jenna: that’s ok. That’s how I like it. 

Me: exactly. That’s how I do her water every morning. 

Jenna: yes. Because cold water isn’t good for you – right mom?

Me: right. It puts out your Agni – remember?- your digestive fire. 

Jenna: oh yeah. What’s your digestive fire do again?

Jacob: it ignites your farts. 

And then we all fall down laughing. It was my happiness moment, but I’m also happy that they have paid at least minimal attention to all of my talking about Ayurveda. Although like any good teenage boy, he had to turn the conversation to farting. 

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My Inukshuk. My path. 

The traditional meaning of the Inukshuk is someone was here, or you are on the right path. 

I spent some time today doing some energy work with Asrael. I always feel so much better after our sessions, but today seemed even more powerful. All things Ayurveda are helpful with my healing. 

Lately I’ve been working on the art of allowing  in my life. I’ve spent years either making things happen by sheer force of will, or denying myself things because I felt I didn’t deserve them. Now I’m learning to allow good things into my life. 

We spent some time today talking about this path that I’m on. I told her about all my doubts and fears and how even with those that  I have the strong feeling that I’m doing exactly what I should be doing. 

 I remind myself to have faith and to listen to that part of my soul that knows I’m doing the right thing. I can feel it, I just have to trust and honour it. I’m doing the right thing, no matter how  anyone else feels about it, or what that tiny voice of doubt says. What I’m doing is healing my soul and that has value. 

Tonight Jacob and I were driving home from school at sunset time. He told me how how school had been all lit up in the sunshine while there were clouds everywhere else. I told him how it was snowing at home. 

When we looked west there was a brilliant yellow sun shining bright and clear rays down on the foothills (by our home). I told Jacob it looked like the door to heaven was open and Grandpa was watching us. He agreed and said he could feel him around. It was like Dad had heard us talking this morning about how much we were missing him. 

As we drove on the backroad home the sunset changed into this 

   
 
An Inukshuk shining brightly in the sky. A sign from the heavens that I’m on the right path. This has been my year of miracles and spiritual guidance. I’m grateful I’m not walking this path alone. My happiness moment. My life. 

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Shifts and changes

It’s seems as though it’s time for changes both inside and out. There is no more ignoring the fact that the season has changed. The leaves are long gone, the grass has gone brown, there is frost on the ground and the car in the mornings, and now… as I mentioned yesterday, the swans are here.

it’s a terrible picture, but it was taken with my iphone as I ran after them down the ramp towards the highway. I didn’t want to upset them by getting any closer, and of course I didn’t have a better camera with me.

I have hundreds of photos that Dad sent me of the swans. He really loved it in the spring and fall when they would come stay at the slough for a while before continuing on on their migratory path.

So, it’s bittersweet. When Dad died the swans were still here, it was the beginning of spring, there was new life all around. It’s harder to see them now, but it is a reminder that life goes on, and I must too.

Even though it fills me with sad feelings of missing Dad, I still love the swans. I love them for themselves, the beautiful and graceful birds that they are. I love them because they fill me with happy memories of us all rushing out to see them and to stand and watch as they swam on the slough and flew in the field above us. I am happy because we can still do that and we can share it with each other now.

I’ve been doing lots of energy work, and am happy that I’m finally able to clear some pretty big energy blockages that I’ve had stored deep inside for a long, long time. It’s time to let things to, and to let flow and joy back into all areas of my life. It’s exhausting work sometimes, but I feel lighter and stronger and happier because of it. More and more I am seeing that I am attracting good things into my life.

My happiness moment today came when I finally understood a key part of my Ayurveda course. I’ve been struggling with this for ages and no matter how many ways I looked at it, it just wasn’t making sense. All of a sudden today *bing* something shifted and now I understand it. I had to do a little happy dance around – what a great feeling!

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